Nowadays, young people tend to rush into independence. Many of them leave home to study or work while still in their teens. Do you think it is positive or negative?

Modern
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The modern
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era demands more passion,
hardwork
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hard work
and consistency to excel in
the
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their
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field of interest;
this
fast paced
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fast-paced
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life drives adolescents to
moving
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move
show examples
out of
houses
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their houses
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and comfort zones to study or work in other places like cities or overseas,
therefore
, they choose
independance
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independence
to pursue their dreams. Both sides have some plus or negative points which will be discussed in the following paragraphs
along with
my opinion. To commence with, young
folks
are in
race
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a race
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, nowadays, to accomplish goals regarding their work and studies; today's time is
quiet
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quite
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competitive and demands extra
as well as
updated skills,
consistant
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consistent
efforts and
hardwork
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hard work
from teenagers which force them to push themselves out of
comgmfort
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comfort
zones to explore new areas of education and work.
For example
, most Indian students prefer to study in distinctive countries like America, Australia and Canada to seek
for
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apply
show examples
better
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a better
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job and living
opporunities
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opportunities
rather than staying in their
mother land
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motherland
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, because these countries offer them
better
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a better
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standard
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standards
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of jobs and salaries in comparison to India.
In addition
to
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apply
show examples
it
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apply
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,
globlization
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globalisation
made
is
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it
show examples
much easier for
folks
to travel around the world and settle down in other countries which was hard in the past, it
also
galvnize
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allows
juveniles to leave
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their parent
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parent
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parents
show examples
house
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houses
show examples
and explore the world. On the flip side, there are
few
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a few
show examples
drawbacks which are associated with the aforementioned notion. The first
amd
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and
foremost is home sickness; young
folks
might
feel
Verb problem
find it
show examples
hard to live without their families
ad
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and
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they need emotional and financial support from their families, it would be
quiet
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quite
show examples
challenging for them to afford their
turion
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tuition
show examples
fees
along with
accomation
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accommodation
without guardians' support.
Secondly
, adolescents might involve in some bad activities like taking drugs,
vendalism
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vandalism
, and looting under the influence of some bad people without proper guidance;
this
could lead
some
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to some
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serious consequences.
To sum up
, it becomes important for young
folks
to travel and settle around the world and to
get
Verb problem
become
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independent for their bright future,
however
, they might need emotional and financial support from their families at some point; they should
be prepare
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be prepared
show examples
for the outer pressure too.
Submitted by parneetkhangura62 on

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coherence cohesion
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coherence cohesion
Work on grammatical accuracy and sentence structure. Errors in grammar can make it difficult for the reader to understand the points being made, thus jeopardizing coherence.
coherence cohesion
Develop each main point with relevant details and examples. While the essay does touch on some examples, further development and illustration can enhance the argument's comprehensiveness.
task achievement
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task achievement
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