Government investment in the arts, such as music and theatre, is a waste of money. Governments must invest this money in piblic services instead. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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Some

people

Use synonyms

believe that governments should invest in public services. They claim that it is the best way to improve the public's life values.

On the other hand

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, other

people

Use synonyms

think that investments in the artistic industry are more important for some positive reasons. I support

this

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idea because knowing cultural things can help us to obtain abilities, which is highly useful in living in

this

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modern society. Many professionals like historians, artists, and singers argue that the government must spend public taxes on improving

arts

Correct article usage

the arts

show examples

industry in order to spread their culture to many other countries.

Firstly

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, in regard to the theatre,

people

Use synonyms

who watch movies about historical affairs may consider and understand their country, which can have positive effects on the public.

For example

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, in Korea, the movie called Seoul's Spring enabled

people

Use synonyms

to know our realistic history that was dominated by the army in 1980. It affected many

people

Use synonyms

who did not know about that before. When it comes to arts, investments

such

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as making physical locations to preserve historical relics are exceptionally important. With the development of technology, information available on the Internet has not become trustworthy.

For

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this

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reason, physical locations

such

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as museums and galleries have been acknowledged by lots of experts to avoid misunderstanding. Especially, seeing artefacts that were verified by professionals in museums can help us to get the right consciousness without destroying historical importance.

To sum up

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, it is evident that investments in arts are more important to raise the public's knowledge and contain the right information even though developing public services is necessary to our society.

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coherence cohesion

Ensure each paragraph has a clear central topic and that the essay follows a logical sequence. Use cohesive devices effectively to show the relationship between ideas.

task achievement

Address all parts of the task, providing a balanced view with a clear position throughout the response. Expand on main points with well-developed ideas and examples.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

266 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

cultural enrichment
economic growth
social cohesion
community identity
creative industries
public funding
cultural programs
artistic expression
tourism revenue
non-profit organizations
education and development
inclusive society
innovation
holistic approach
investment balance

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