These days, in many countries, fewer and fewer people want to become teachers, particularly in secondary schools. What are the reasons for this? How could more people be encouraged to come into the teaching profession?

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It is
fact
Correct article usage
a fact

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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that most graduates do not want to be
teachers
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

in secondary schools. The main
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems

It seems that problem may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

causes are low
salary
Fix the agreement mistake
salaries

It seems that salary may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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and few
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

oppurnities
Correct your spelling
opportunities

If you don’t want oppurnities to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

to advance in
teaching
Correct article usage
a teaching

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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career
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

. The most viable
solution
Fix the agreement mistake
solutions

It seems that solution may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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are higher
salaries
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

and creating
Use synonyms
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

oppurnities
Correct your spelling
opportunities

If you don’t want oppurnities to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

to advance in teaching
Use synonyms
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

career
Fix the agreement mistake
careers

It seems that career may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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with the use of technology. Admittedly, teaching in secondary school is not
any
Correct determiner usage
a

It seems that determiner use may be incorrect here.

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rewarding
career
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

choice because it has
low
Add an article
a low

The noun phrase low salary seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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salary. Most young graduates prefer to go for management or administrative
jobs
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

which
pays
Correct subject-verb agreement
pay

It seems that the verb pays does not agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

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well. Most secondary teaching
jobs
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

are
also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

considered stagnant
jobs
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

as there is not much scope to advance
Use synonyms
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

career
Correct article usage
the career

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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.
For instance
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
teachers
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

in Asian or African
countries
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

are not paid well for teaching secondary classes. Most graduates have
opinion
Add an article
the opinion
an opinion

The noun phrase opinion seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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that teaching is
stagnant
Correct article usage
a stagnant

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

show examples
career
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

choice as they have
plethora
Add an article
a plethora

The noun phrase plethora seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

show examples
of
Use synonyms
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

oppurnities
Correct your spelling
opportunities

If you don’t want oppurnities to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

in their
career
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

to choose from. They prefer
jobs
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

with
advancing
Wrong verb form
advance

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb advancing. Consider changing it.

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in
Use synonyms
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

career
Fix the agreement mistake
careers

It seems that career may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

show examples
so that they can financially secure themselves. One way to overcome
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

problem is
offering
Change preposition
by offering

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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high
salaries
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

and
career
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

advancement
Use synonyms
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

oppurnities
Correct your spelling
opportunities

If you don’t want oppurnities to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

for secondary
teachers
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

. They should be allowed to teach online to pupils. So that they can reach out to
wider
Add an article
a wider

The noun phrase wider number seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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number of learners. Their emoluments should be linked to
number
Change the article
a number
the number

It appears that the phrase number does not contain the correct article usage. Consider making a change.

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of students they teach.
Apart from
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, they should be offered higher
salaries
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

. To epitome, Secondary
teachers
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

in North
America
Replace the word
American

The word America doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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countries
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

and Australia are paid well. On
similar
Correct article usage
a similar

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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pattern
Add a comma
pattern,

It appears that you are missing a comma after the introductory phrase On similar pattern. Consider adding a comma.

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higher
salaries
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

should paid to
teachers
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

across the globe In conclusion,
Countries
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

have to make sure that teaching in secondary schools
should be
Wrong verb form
is

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb should be. Consider changing it.

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rewarding
Add an article
the rewarding
a rewarding

The noun phrase rewarding career choice seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

show examples
career
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

choice for people.
Although
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

it is challenging to motivate
to
Correct quantifier usage
others to

It seems that quantifier use may be incorrect here.

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teach secondary classes,
by
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
creating openings for teaching can prove game changer for
countries
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.

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introduction conclusion present
The essay lacks a clear introductory paragraph that clearly outlines the problems and solutions regarding the decline of interest in the teaching profession. It jumps right into the discussion without properly setting the stage for the reader. Ensure that your essay starts with a clear introduction that presents the topic and indicates the direction your essay will take.
supported main points
Main points are touched upon but not developed with clear, specific examples and detailed explanation. For instance, when discussing low salary and career advancement opportunities, provide actual data or a case study to illustrate your point. Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea, supported by detailed evidence or examples.
logical structure
The essay structure is somewhat disorganized and abrupt. Make use of a clear progression of ideas from one paragraph to the other. Utilize cohesive devices, such as reference words and transition signals effectively, to enhance the logical flow of your essay. This will improve the reader's ability to follow your argument.
complete response
You should ensure that your response fully addresses all parts of the task. There is some mention of both the reasons for and solutions to the problem, but a deeper analysis and a wider range of ideas would demonstrate a more complete response to the question. Include more detailed discussion on both the causes and solutions.
clear comprehensive ideas
Your essay needs to expand on the ideas presented to provide a clear and comprehensive understanding of the issues and proposed solutions. Aim to present a well-developed argument, with clear and logical reasoning that fulfills the reader's expectations for each point made.
relevant specific examples
The use of examples to support ideas is limited. To strengthen your essay, include relevant and specific examples that illustrate the points being made. These can be drawn from real-life contexts, studies, or hypothetical scenarios that are directly related to the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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