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Band 6.5

Every year several language die out. Some people think this is not important because life will be easier if there are fewer languages. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion.

#year #language #people #life #languages
Some minority
languages
 in the world disappear year by year, some individuals deem that rare
languages
 need to be saved
while
 others believe that it is not crucial because life is more difficult with more
languages
 existing. I am in favour of the idea of having fewer kinds of
languages
 in the world because it provides an easier way to communicate and it aids us to build better connections. First of all, having fewer
languages
 allows us to have better communication. We are living in a world with an information explosion, when we receive news, which is different from our mother tongue, sometimes we can not comprehend sentences or meanings fully, and
as a consequence
, misunderstandings are caused.
Nonetheless
, if we share simply one to two
languages
, messages and
knowledges
Change the wording
knowledge
pieces of knowledge
bits of knowledge
show examples
 can be simply and well expressed, and interpreters no longer need to rack their brains to find a precise word for different
languages
. It can simplify the way we process
languages
,
thus
, leading to greater comprehension and better understanding.
Secondly
, it upgrades connections between people.
Languages
 can be both a bridge and a barrier, we should utilize it as a bridge
instead
 of a barrier.
For instance
, when we are travelling, we tend to talk to people who can speak our language,
however
, if we all share a few common
languages
,
this
 enables us to make friends and get to know each other faster.
Moreover
, conflicts can be decreased greatly, and collisions happen more often
due to
 misinterpreting, but if we narrow down to fewer
languages
, the chance of misinterpretation can be lowered as well.
This
 besteads relations among people. In conclusion, fewer
languages
 benefit us. It can dump down the complexities of
languages
,
hence
, we are able to communicate with each other more understandable than we used to.
Furthermore
, stronger connections can be developed without misinterpretation. All these help us to pave the way for an easier life.
Submitted by wendy190427 on

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task achievement
Provide more relevant and specific examples to illustrate your arguments better. Real-life examples or well-known scenarios can strengthen your points.
coherence cohesion
Consider adding transitional phrases or sentences to improve the flow between paragraphs, making the essay more cohesive.
coherence cohesion
Ensure all points made are fully developed and supported. Some ideas, like the impact of fewer languages on conflicts, could be elaborated further.
introduction conclusion present
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion that frame the argument well.
supported main points
The main points are generally clear and relevant to the topic.
clear comprehensive ideas
The argument about improved communication and connections is well articulated.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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