IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2

Transport preference among young people in different countries.

#transport #people #countries
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The bar chart illustrates, transport
preference
 among the United
Kingdom
, United States,
France
 and Italy by younger generation in a year.
Overall
, the travel
preference
 among young ones fluctuated during the year in all the countries. Despite
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the fluctuations,
car
transportation
 was highly preferred above
bicycle
Fix the agreement mistake
bicycles
show examples
 and
motorcycle
Fix the agreement mistake
motorcycles
show examples
 by young people By analysing the data,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
car
transportation
prefered
Correct your spelling
preferred
 in the United
Kingdom
 was at the level of 60% it
remain
Wrong verb form
remained
show examples
 unchanged in
United
Correct article usage
the United
show examples
Kingdom
, but in
France
 it suddenly
downback
Correct your spelling
down back
down-back
 to 40% .
Then
, it peaked to above 70% in Italy.
Incase
Correct your spelling
In case
show examples
 of bicycle
transportation
, there was
huge
Correct article usage
a huge
show examples
 fluctuation throughout the countries. In the United
Kingdom
Add a comma
Kingdom,
show examples
 it leveled at 30%,
Then
 dramatically went down to 10% in
United
Correct article usage
the United
show examples
 States. But, it backed up sharply in
France
 at above 40%.
Then
, it backed down to approximately 10% in Italy Motorcycle
transportation
 became constant throughout all the different countries at 10%.
The
Correct article usage
Car
show examples
car
 transport reached
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 High point of above 70% in Italy, it was the Highest of all
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
compared with other
transportations
Fix the agreement mistake
transportation
show examples
. Only time
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
car
preference
 went down below 40% at the same time bicycle
preference
 went up by above 40% in
France
 by
young
Add an article
the young
show examples
 generation.
Submitted by insighttribez on

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Introduction & Conclusion
The essay lacks a clear introduction and conclusion, which are essential components of a well-structured response. Make sure to include these sections in your essay to provide a complete overview of the topic and to summarize your main points effectively.
Logical Structure
The logical structure of the essay needs improvement. The ideas do not flow smoothly, and the use of cohesive devices is limited. Practice using a range of linking words and phrases to connect your ideas clearly and coherently.
Supported Main Points
You need to develop your main points to a greater extent. Aim to include thorough explanations and relevant examples to support each point. Doing this will not only demonstrate your understanding of the topic but also help to make your essay more convincing.
Complete Response
Your task completion is incomplete as the response does not comprehensively cover the requirements of the prompt. You'll need to fully address all parts of the task and ensure that your essay directly answers the question asked.
Clear & Comprehensive Ideas
The clarity and comprehensiveness of your ideas can be improved. Work on expressing your thoughts more clearly and providing detailed information wherever necessary to fully convey your message.
Relevant Specific Examples
The use of specific examples is crucial to illustrate your point effectively. Aim to include pertinent examples that relate closely to the topic and reinforce the arguments you are making in your essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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