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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Financial education should be included as a mandatory subject in schools to prepare students for managing money effectively. Do you agree or disagree?

#education #schools #students #money
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It is an obvious fact that
financial
Correct article usage
the financial
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 aspect is an important part of
the
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apply
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daily life, as an adult and even as a young person.
According to
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 some people, if mandatory financial lessons are part of the
school
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 syllabus, children will learn how to manage their money. In my opinion,
this
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 is true to a great extent.
Firstly
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, financial
education
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 can prepare
students
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 for their future financial responsibilities. Many
students
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 leave
school
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 and college with very little knowledge about how to manage their finances.
As a result
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, sometimes they have a problem
to pay
Change the verb form
paying
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 bills and
manage
Wrong verb form
managing
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 their money effectively, which can lead to financial difficulties later in life. By making financial
education
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compulsorily
Change the word
compulsory
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 in schools,
students
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 would learn how to manage their finances effectively and avoid financial problems.
In addition
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, finance should be
subject
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a subject
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 in
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school
Add an article
the school
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 curriculum. During the course or after
graduate
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graduation
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, many young people start trading or investing in something.
However
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, most of them
are lacking
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lack
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capability
Add an article
the capability
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 of financial analysis. Commonly, the lack of good financial
education
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 leads young people to failure and
lose
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loss
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 of money sources which puts them in critical
situation
Fix the agreement mistake
situations
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.
Therefore
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, starting from an early age, building a strong background, can reduce most of the risks in their business and provide a secure financial future. In conclusion, financial
education
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 should be a mandatory component of the
school
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 program. It would prepare
students
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 for their future financial responsibilities, help them understand the importance of saving and investing, and reduce poverty in every modern society.
Submitted by maryam.niknamm on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Financial literacy
  • Mandatory
  • Budgeting
  • Economic stability
  • Fiscal health
  • Credit
  • Interest rates
  • Investments
  • Curriculum
  • Informed decisions
  • Personal debt
  • Savings
  • Taxes
  • Expenditures
  • Fiscal responsibility
  • Money management
  • Financial planning
  • Economic education
  • Financial competence
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