In many countries, people watch many foreign made television programs and Internet videos. The dominance of imported entertainment is harmful to the cultures of these countries. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Foreign made

Add a hyphen

Foreign-made

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television programs and Internet

videos

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are popular in many

countries

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including Indonesia. Should they be banned in order to protect the local cultures of

this

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country? I strongly agree with

this

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view for a number of reasons.

Firstly

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foreign made

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foreign-made

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television programs basically have their own values. They uphold the freedom of expression for everyone including children.

This

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kind of program might give awareness about

aspect

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aspects

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of foreign cultures that might be not popular

such

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as LGBTQ+ issues in some

countries

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Moreover

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this

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would have enormous impacts on the

people

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especially young

people

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who live in the more conservative

countries

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For instance

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people

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who live in religious

countries

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are not allowed to watch, follow, or agree with LGBTQ+ and views related to these activities. Turning to Internet

videos

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, other reasons

these

Correct pronoun usage

apply

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are harmful to the culture of some

countries

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because they usually contain inappropriate material

such

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as pornographic and violent content.

This

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material would have

huge

Correct article usage

a huge

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impacts

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impact

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on the culture of society.

In addition

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, these

videos

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would influence

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

people

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’s

perspective

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perspectives

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when they encounter

with

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apply

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social hardships.

For example

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, when young

people

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watch pornographic

videos

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, they

would

Verb problem

apply

show examples

get more negative exposure and see woman or their

peer

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peers

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as sexual

object

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objects

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and

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apply

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make

Wrong verb form

making

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Change preposition

apply

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common action for

several

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

people

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to do

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

violence.

To sum up

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, the dominance of imported entertainment

such

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foreign made

Add a hyphen

foreign-made

show examples

television programs and Internet

videos

Use synonyms

are very dangerous in many

countries

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including Indonesia that uphold

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

religious values strongly. For some

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countries

Add a comma

countries,

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they must keep the value to maintain their sustained own culture for their future generations.

2024successieltsSun Dec 24 2023

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coherence cohesion

While there is a logical structure to the essay, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, the overall progression of ideas could have been more seamless. Clearer topic sentences that preview the content of each paragraph, as well as more effective use of connecting phrases, could improve the readability and flow.

task achievement

The task has been addressed, but the response is not fully developed. The position is stated, yet the arguments presented could benefit from more development and depth. Stronger examples that are relevant to the topic, additional explanations, and a wider range of ideas will enhance the task achievement score.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
20
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

264 words

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In many countries, people watch many foreign made television programs and Internet videos. The dominance of imported entertainment is harmful to the cultures of these countries. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people say that zoos have no useful purpose. Others believe that zoos are beneficial in many ways. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Part 2 Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Interviews are the basic selecting criteria for most companies. However, some people think interviews are not a reliable method and there are better methods. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people say that there is too much harmful content on the internet. They say the only way to make the internet safe is for the government to censor the content of websites. To what extent do you think the government should control what information is available on the internet?