In some countries owning a home rather than renting one is considered very important. What are the causes of this? Is this a positive or negative development?

In the contemporary era, some
people
have a notion that owning
home
Add an article
a home
show examples
is a better idea than renting. For
countries
' future and
independence
Add a comma
independence,
show examples
I totally agree with
this
idea. On the one hand, nowadays the main problem for governments is illegal immigration. Many refugees leave
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their
countries
and settle
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
other
countries
with
Change preposition
in
show examples
illegal ways. They purchase or rent homes,
therefore
they can remain their lives. Meanwhile, If local folk can not buy a
home
, these homes are
buying
Wrong verb form
bought
show examples
by refugees.
Hence
, the population of
country
Add an article
the country
show examples
is changing.
For example
; In Antalya, over
the
Correct your spelling
70
%70 of
houses
Change the noun form
house
show examples
owners are from Russia. There are
not
Correct your spelling
no
show examples
local folk or very few amount.
This
causes
Wrong verb form
caused
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the assimilation
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
the nations.
Besides
,
an
Remove the article
apply
show examples
another advantage of owning
home
Add an article
a home
show examples
is, become economically strong. Today, the majority of Turkish
people
experience financial difficulties. The renting prices are almost half of
employee's
Add an article
the employee's
show examples
salary.
Hence
,
people
can't find enough money for other activities. Social activities, sports
activies
Correct your spelling
activities
etc..
Moreover
,
people
become unhappy and asocial. Many
people
, have to leave the
are
Correct your spelling
area
show examples
where they live, because of high
home
rentals. Kids have to get
use
Wrong verb form
used
show examples
a
Change preposition
to a
show examples
new school,
therefore
, their
education
Replace the word
educational
show examples
lives are
effected
Correct your spelling
affected
show examples
negatively. The Hurriyet recently reported that %35 of
people
in Turkey left
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their
countries
because of high
home
rents.
To sum up
,it causes
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
negative development and
unhappy
Correct article usage
an unhappy
show examples
public.
People
tend to leave their country and try to establish a new life
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
abroad. It is
also
reason
Correct article usage
a reason
show examples
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
brain immigration. Skilled
workes
Correct your spelling
workers
show examples
find a job from abroad and immigrate. That's why it is very important to
buying
Wrong verb form
buy
show examples
a
home
.
Submitted by mervekerkuklu on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Introduction & Conclusion
The essay lacks a clear introduction and conclusion. Begin with an introduction that clearly presents the topic and your thesis. End with a conclusion that summarizes your main points and restates your position.
Logical Structure
Ensure that the essay has a logical flow. Use linking words and phrases to connect ideas and paragraphs. Present arguments in a structured manner.
Main Points Support
Support your main points with clear explanations and concrete examples. Avoid general statements and directly address the causes and development implications of home ownership versus renting.
Task Response
Address the task directly. Both the causes and the implications of the preference for owning a home over renting should be distinctly explored.
Idea Development
Elaborate upon your ideas to make them comprehensive. Expand on the reasons for the preference for home ownership and clearly explain why it is a positive or negative development.
Use of Examples
Use specific examples to illustrate your points. These examples should be relevant to the question and help to strengthen your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • cultural norms
  • symbol of success
  • long-term investment
  • financial security
  • asset appreciation
  • personal autonomy
  • modify surroundings
  • social significance
  • tax deductions
  • generational wealth
  • community engagement
  • housing bubble
  • real estate market
  • economic stability
  • mortgage financing
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!