Some people think that the media (newspapers ) have the right to publish details of people's private lives, while other think it should be controlled. discuss both views.

Media is a mirror of society. In any form, whether visual, print or telecommunication, it presents before us the true account of various issues related to politics, technology, sports,
medical
Correct article usage
the medical
show examples
field, society,
crimes
Correct word choice
and crimes
show examples
, and
also
publish
Correct subject-verb agreement
publishes
show examples
details of
people
's private
lives
.
But
Correct word choice
However
show examples
, I am not in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
favour of media
publication
Fix the agreement mistake
publications
show examples
about
people
's private
lives
and I will explain why in
this
eassy
Correct your spelling
essay
easy
. There are a number of arguments in favour of my stance.
This
can put
individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
show examples
at personal risk
include
Verb problem
apply
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,
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including robery
show examples
robery
Correct your spelling
robbery
at home or
inspire
Wrong verb form
inspiring
show examples
any predator to
attak
Correct your spelling
attack
.
People
's private
lives
must be their own choice
,
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apply
show examples
if they want to be shared with others or not. It
also
could cause mental
issuse
Correct your spelling
issues
issue
to some individuals, who
donot
Correct your spelling
do not
like to be publically known they like to be
anonamous
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anonymous
. On the other, some
pople
Correct your spelling
people
like to read about the
posonal
Correct your spelling
positive
lives
the celebrities
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
the newspapers to get
conected
Correct your spelling
connected
with them and
celebirities
Correct your spelling
celebrity
fans
also
have
Correct article usage
the curosity
show examples
curosity
Correct your spelling
curiosity
to read about
every thing
Correct your spelling
everything
show examples
related to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
celebrities. So in that case it can printed because they have security. In
sumrary
Correct your spelling
summary
,
it is clear that
article
Fix the agreement mistake
articles
show examples
related to private
lives
could put
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
lives
in danger. At the same
time
Add a comma
time,
show examples
it can make celebrities more famous and make more fan base for them. In view of the arguments outlined above, one can conclude that despite having some drawbacks, the benefits of newspapers in the world are indeed too dire to ignore.
Submitted by 13simran1990 on

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Coherence & Cohesion
Your essay lacks a clear progression of ideas through logical sequencing. It's important to organize your essay in a manner that guides the reader smoothly from introduction to conclusion, with clear topic sentences at the start of each paragraph and transitions that connect the points.
Coherence & Cohesion
You have provided an introduction and conclusion, which is good, but they lack a clear thesis statement and a summarising conclusion linking back to it. Make sure your introduction clearly states your position and that your conclusion effectively summarises your discussion.
Coherence & Cohesion
Several main points were attempted, but they need to be more fully supported with explanations and relevant examples. Develop your arguments in each paragraph with specific details to reinforce your viewpoints.
Task Achievement
The essay does respond to the task, although the response is limited and at times unclear. Make sure to address all parts of the task, and keep your response focused and developed, so that the reader is left with no doubts about your position and reasoning.
Task Achievement
Ideas presented in the essay are not fully clear and comprehensive, which affects the overall task achievement. Clarify and expand upon each idea, ensuring that there's a logical flow and all questions posed by the task are addressed directly and thoroughly.
Task Achievement
Your essay lacks specific examples to support arguments. Including real-world examples or hypothetical scenarios that closely tie into your points can strengthen your arguments and provide clarity to your narrative.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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