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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Today, more people are waiting until their thirties to get married and have children. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

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Nowadays a significant number of
people
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 prefer to get married until the
age
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 of thirty or more. It is sometimes argued whether
this
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 trend is a positive factor or a negative point. In the following paragraphs, I will explain its merits and demerits, and give my viewpoint.
To begin
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 with, there are some disadvantages in order to get married and having a baby after thirty years. First and foremost, conflicts among parents and children could be increased because of much gap between these two generations. Their mindset would be different because adolescents take mode and state-of-the-art products into account which are not likely to be in parent type.
For example
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, social media and artificial intelligence play a beneficial role in our modern life,
however
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, old parents are in opposition to
this
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 technological progress.
Secondly
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, the time of getting married is increasing as time goes on, and it could be a hazardous phenomenon because it has a negative influence on women to get pregnant. The older
age
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 they get, the less children can be born.
As a result
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, getting married and having an infant after the thirties could have various drawbacks.
On the other hand
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, there are some merits which can be mentioned. The primary advantage of
this
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 phenomenon is that
people
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 in the thirty years of their life are more likely to land a decent job
as well as
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 finish their education which leads to making a living easier compared to younger
age
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people
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 when they are not confident financially. If
people
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 afford their lives, they will solve numerous problems by themselves which even decreases the divorcing rate.
In addition
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, by
age
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 ,
people
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 are patient
as well as
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 experienced. They might experience myriad difficulties in their lives.
In other words
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, giving a chance to their partner and themselves is a massive opportunity to modify their approach to have a high-quality lifestyle.
Thus
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, the experienced
people
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 could handle their lives in resilient circumstances. In conclusion,
although
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 getting married and having kids until thirties and
after
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this
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age
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 could have some disadvantages, I personally believe that its plus points are more significant.

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coherence cohesion
Ensure a clear logical structure throughout your essay by organizing paragraphs with clear topic sentences and sequential supporting sentences that build upon each other. Transition words and phrases should be used effectively to demonstrate the relationship between ideas.
coherence cohesion
Make sure both the introduction and conclusion are present, with the introduction providing a clear thesis and the conclusion effectively summarizing the arguments without introducing new information.
coherence cohesion
Develop your main points with detailed support and explanation, being careful not to overgeneralize. Use specific examples to illustrate your points, and make sure they directly support your argument.
task achievement
Assure the essay responds completely to all parts of the task question without information that is off-topic. Present a balanced view if required, and make your opinion clear where necessary.
task achievement
Present clear and comprehensive ideas by elaborating on your points and structuring your essay in a logical sequence. Ensure that each paragraph progresses the argument and relates back to the task question.
task achievement
Utilize relevant and specific examples to substantiate your claims. This includes drawing from personal, historical, or globally recognized instances where appropriate to strengthen your argument.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • matrimonial timing
  • fertility issues
  • career-oriented
  • financial security
  • societal norms
  • generational divide
  • personal fulfillment
  • personality development
  • biological clock
  • extended adolescence
  • family planning
  • child rearing
  • socioeconomic factors
  • traditional milestones
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