IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

With access to the internet and social media websites, many children are exposed to a number of dangerous situations. Adults should thus limit access to the internet for their children. Do you agree or disagree?

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Nowadays, the
internet
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, social media apps, and websites easily available to
children
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, create a dangerous situation for them. They should give only limited access to the
internet
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. In my opinion,
this
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 is true, I am heartedly in
favor
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favour
show examples
 of
this
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. In
this
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 essay, I will share the reasons with examples to justify my reasons.
Firstly
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,
parents
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 are giving the mobile to their kids at an early age. In
this
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 era, the
Internet
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 is easily available and they learn both good and bad things through the
Internet
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. Sometimes
parents
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 are busy in jobs and they are not able to take care of their
children
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 properly.
For example
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, in most cases when
parents
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 do not give adequate time to their young, they find a way to get rid of their loneliness and are attracted to many social sites.
Moreover
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, they learn things that are not meant for them like hacking, and theft.
On the other hand
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, parental control should be there. The child safety mode option should be initiated on the mobile and limited access should be granted. The history on mobile should be regularly monitored. Firewalls should be used to prevent exposure to sensitive sites.
Parents
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 should spend quality time with their
children
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.
For instance
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, crime rates have increased like kidnappings and pornography because
children
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 get trapped by unknown people. In conclusion, the
Internet
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 has lots of benefits, but they have some drawbacks. If anything is used beyond the limit
then
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 it has a negative impact. I believe that the
Internet
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 is helpful for
children
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 in completing their homework and learning new skills if parental control is there.
Children
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 could be protected from life-threatening situations if given proper guidance and attention.

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Task Achievement
Your essay presents a clear position throughout the response; however, you need to develop your main ideas further to thoroughly address the task. Your response must elaborate on why you agree with limiting internet access for children, providing more detailed and varied arguments and examples.
Coherence & Cohesion
The overall structure of your essay is sufficient with a clear introduction and conclusion; nonetheless, transitions between ideas could be smoother, and the logical flow between sentences and paragraphs can be improved by using a wider range of cohesive devices. This will enhance the readability and coherence of the text.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • dangerous situations
  • limit access to the internet
  • inappropriate content
  • online predators
  • physical and mental health
  • monitoring and guiding
  • online safety
  • school curriculum
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