Many young people do not spend their holidays and weekends doing outdoor activities like hiking and climbing in natural environments. Why? How can they be encouraged to go out?

#people #holidays #weekends #activities #environments

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Nowadays, the young generation holds the view that they don’t want to waste their vacations on outdoor activities including hiking and climbing in natural environments and enjoy their period at home. From my observation, I suppose that

this

habit is leading to negative results, which I will discuss in

this

essay. Honestly, it has many factors why young people suppose

that is

unnecessary to spend their holidays to chill out outside. First of all, youngster prefer relaxing in their house because they think that the atmosphere outside is too noisy and it can make them feel uncomfortable.

Moreover

, there are many social issues so I think youth want to avoid scandalous stories and enjoy their free time alone. And it is

also

because of the pollution, that teenagers aren’t making the most of their vacations with other people. In my view, I think teenagers should hang out more in their unoccupied moment and there are lots of benefits when they choose hobbies

such

as walking, climbing, … so we should have more competition for outdoor occupations so the youth will join and enjoy the natural environment, it

also

helps teenagers improve their health and be strong.

Besides

that, schools must educate the significance of doing exercise or playing outdoor sports,

this

solution will reduce the stress of young people. In conclusion, the young generation should spend more time on open-air leisure because of the many benefits it brings to their health and maybe they will find new talent in sports.

Last

but not least, the young generation can develop their communication relationships

Submitted by ieltswritingpracticedl on Wed Aug 14 2024

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task achievement

To improve your Task Response, provide more specific examples that clearly support your main points. For instance, mentioning specific outdoor activities or health benefits could strengthen your argument.

coherence cohesion

Ensure each paragraph fully develops a single idea. Paragraphs should be coherent and logically connected to one another, creating a smooth progression of ideas.

task achievement

The essay introduces and concludes the topic clearly, providing a comprehensive response overall.

coherence cohesion

You presented reasonable points and expanded upon them, which illustrates your understanding of the topic.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

262 words

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Many young people do not spend their holidays and weekends doing outdoor activities like hiking and climbing in natural environments. Why? How can they be encouraged to go out?

Your opinion

Some people say patriotism causes problems and is negative overall. Others feel that it is beneficial for society at large. Do the advantages of patriotism outweigh its disadvantages?

In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

Due to high unemployment rate in some countries, pupils should be offered only primary education and not secondary education since there are no jobs. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many countries now face an economic downturn, so it is better for each country to focus on its problems rather than helping other countries. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Use specific reasons and examples to support your position.