Many young people do not spend their holidays and weekends doing outdoor activities like hiking and climbing in natural environments. Why? How can they be encouraged to go out?

Nowadays, the young generation holds the view that they don’t want to waste their vacations on outdoor activities including hiking and climbing in natural environments and enjoy their period at home. From my observation, I suppose that
this
habit is leading to negative results, which I will discuss in
this
essay. Honestly, it has many factors why young people suppose
that is
unnecessary to spend their holidays to chill out outside. First of all, youngster prefer relaxing in their house because they think that the atmosphere outside is too noisy and it can make them feel uncomfortable.
Moreover
, there are many social issues so I think youth want to avoid scandalous stories and enjoy their free time alone. And it is
also
because of the pollution, that teenagers aren’t making the most of their vacations with other people. In my view, I think teenagers should hang out more in their unoccupied moment and there are lots of benefits when they choose hobbies
such
as walking, climbing, … so we should have more competition for outdoor occupations so the youth will join and enjoy the natural environment, it
also
helps teenagers improve their health and be strong.
Besides
that, schools must educate the significance of doing exercise or playing outdoor sports,
this
solution will reduce the stress of young people. In conclusion, the young generation should spend more time on open-air leisure because of the many benefits it brings to their health and maybe they will find new talent in sports.
Last
but not least, the young generation can develop their communication relationships
Submitted by ieltswritingpracticedl on

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task achievement
To improve your Task Response, provide more specific examples that clearly support your main points. For instance, mentioning specific outdoor activities or health benefits could strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph fully develops a single idea. Paragraphs should be coherent and logically connected to one another, creating a smooth progression of ideas.
task achievement
The essay introduces and concludes the topic clearly, providing a comprehensive response overall.
coherence cohesion
You presented reasonable points and expanded upon them, which illustrates your understanding of the topic.

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