In some countries owning a home rather than renting one is considered very important what are the causes of the? Is this a positive or negative development?

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The importance of owning a home rather than renting an apartment
which was
Wrong verb form
has
show examples
always been debated many
people
Use synonyms
claim that it is beneficial
while
Linking Words
others reject
this
Linking Words
. I believe that it is
positive
Correct article usage
a positive
show examples
development by owning a home. I agree with the formal notion of discord. To initiate , Property is indispensable for
people
Use synonyms
to purchase lands and build
trailer
Fix the agreement mistake
trailers
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which causes humans to be
stress
Wrong verb form
stressed
show examples
while
Linking Words
owning a home and making wealth
buying
Change preposition
by buying
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lands which helps to increase their portfolio in the future.
Further
Linking Words
, landowners focus on their careers as well and spend time with family members
also
Linking Words
easily manage their expanses and have no tension for monthly mortgages. The economy will grow no longer
poverty
Change preposition
in poverty
show examples
will because by
Linking Words
this
Change the determiner
this person
these people
show examples
people
Use synonyms
will be employed by constructing houses we need architecture, building materials, furniture,
carpainter
Correct your spelling
carpenter
car painter
, and electrition which is all get work and earn
salary
Add an article
a salary
show examples
which will help to bill flow in the economy and the country will
be develop
Change the verb form
be developed
show examples
. There are some negative developments who are working or studying under the ages of 30 to 21 between those ages youngsters spend too much property on liabilities
such
Linking Words
as
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
cars or
apartment
Fix the agreement mistake
apartments
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.
Moreover
Linking Words
, they get loans from banks for purchasing
hospital
Fix the agreement mistake
hospitals
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and cars ,
therefore
Linking Words
, making too
much debts
Fix the agreement mistake
many debt
show examples
traps at
the
Correct article usage
an
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early age that's the reason they
do
Verb problem
are
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not capable of earning capital sufficient to buy shelter
further
Linking Words
they
do
Change the verb
are
show examples
not able to pay back loans to banks. So, from my perspective younger
people
Use synonyms
need to rent an apartment
while
Linking Words
they are studying and working it will help to maintain an easy life.
To conclude
Linking Words
,
Although
Linking Words
it is a positive development who have enough capital to purchase property and for the economy of the nation
there
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
few negative impacts under the age of 30 will
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
not be denied.
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task achievement
Your essay reflects an attempt to address the prompt, but a clearer and more explicit position on the issue throughout the essay would strengthen your task response. Make sure your stance on whether the importance placed on homeownership is a positive or negative development is consistently and clearly presented.
coherence cohesion
The essay lacks clear logical progression of ideas. Ideas and arguments should be arranged in a coherent and logical manner. The usage of linking words and cohesive devices needs to be improved to help guide the reader through the arguments you are presenting.
coherence cohesion
Work on paragraph structure and ensure that each has a clear main idea supported by relevant examples or explanations. Ensure that each paragraph contributes to your overall argument and that they are not off-topic or repetitive.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • cultural norms
  • symbol of success
  • long-term investment
  • financial security
  • asset appreciation
  • personal autonomy
  • modify surroundings
  • social significance
  • tax deductions
  • generational wealth
  • community engagement
  • housing bubble
  • real estate market
  • economic stability
  • mortgage financing
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