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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The bar chart shows information about the favorite subjects of students from two middle schools, school A and school B.

The bar chart shows information about the favorite subjects of students from two middle schools, school A and school B.
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A glance at the bar chart provided reveals the favourite subjects of pupils from two different middle schools. Looking from an
overall
Linking Words
 perspective, it is evident that there was an upward trend witnessed in
school
Use synonyms
 A, the reverse pattern was true for
school
Use synonyms
 B. A dramatic increase is seen in the proportion of sports for
school
Use synonyms
 A. In terms of
school
Use synonyms
 A, no other proportions are as high as sport, which belongs to approximately 72%, followed by science with merely 18%. Meanwhile, drawing makes up the least significant number with just 8%.
While
Linking Words
 the interest topics of drawing in
school
Use synonyms
 A is the lowest percentage, there is the highest
that
Correct determiner usage
apply
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for
Change preposition
apply
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number in
school
Use synonyms
 B.
Moreover
Linking Words
, math takes up about 12%. With regard to
school
Use synonyms
 B, an overwhelming majority of drawing with 50%.
At
Change preposition
On
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 the opposite of the scale, the trivial part constituted science with negligibly 5%.
On the contrary
Linking Words
, the second noticeable proportion of literature with just 37%. The others can be grouped into
ranger
Fix the agreement mistake
rangers
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 from 10 to 20%.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words school with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 3 times.
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