The richer countries of the world spend billions on space travel and space exploration. Do you think this is a good use of money? What in your opinion could be done to better use the resources of a country?

Wealthier nations are likely to spend significant
investment
Fix the agreement mistake
investments
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into
Change preposition
in
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space exploration and travel. In
this
essay, I will discuss why
this
is not a good use of money and form a conclusion.
Although
,
Remove the comma
apply
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learning about our galaxy and outer space is interesting, it has no direct impact on our lives. There are more pressing issues that are
effecting
Correct your spelling
affecting
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our population,
such
as
increased
Correct article usage
the increased
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cost of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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living crisis and these are more deserving of our money.
Furthermore
, the majority of the nation has no care for these voyages because they do not change the standard of
our
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
living. In fact, huge governmental funding generated towards these missions
further
heightens the sense that the general public
are
Change the verb form
is
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not cared for. It is only the rich that benefit within a society and not the working class. A more beneficial investment by politicians would be strategies to improve living conditions.
For instance
, exploring ways to equalise occupational wages so that everyone is able to afford basic necessities like food and water. It would be advisable that the infrastructure of
such
nations was funded so that the people of that land
can
Wrong verb form
could
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prosper. To illustrate
this
further
, healthcare facilities and educational institutions should have monetary funding generated towards them, as
this
will lead to a healthier and
knowledgeable
Correct quantifier usage
more knowledgeable
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society. If everyone is provided with sufficient medicinal treatment and learning,
this
will in turn cause an influx of careers and educated people.
Additionally
,
this
will benefit the country’s economy as more of the population
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
working in an occupational role.
Moreover
, successful universities
promote
Verb problem
encourage
show examples
students from all over the world to come and study in that area, again contributing to the nation’s economy. In conclusion, there are more advantageous avenues richer countries could focus on,
such
as education and health.
Submitted by abeera2012 on

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introduction conclusion
Ensure the introduction clearly defines your position on the topic, gives a preview of the main points, and directly addresses the essay prompt. The conclusion should restate your thesis and summarize your arguments, without introducing new information.
coherence cohesion
Develop a clear paragraph structure with topic sentences that introduce the main idea of each paragraph. Make sure each paragraph has a clear focus and use cohesive devices effectively to link ideas and paragraphs together.
task achievement
Fully address all parts of the task prompt by expanding on your ideas with specific examples and explanations. Each paragraph should support your position with reasoned arguments. Avoid general statements without concrete examples.

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