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Writing Samples /
Band 7

It is important for everyone, including young people, to save money for their future. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#people #money #future
Many
people
 believe that it is essential for everyone, including young
people
, to save money for their future. I would argue that
this
 perspective is valid, as developing the habit of saving early can lead to long-term financial security. There are several reasons why saving money is important for young
people
.
First,
cultivating the habit of saving allows individuals to build a financial cushion that can be crucial in times of need.
This
 means that in the event of an unexpected expense,
such
 as a medical emergency or job loss, young
people
 who have savings will be better equipped to handle the situation without falling into debt.
For instance
, having a savings account can help cover unexpected costs like car repairs or educational fees without relying on credit cards or loans, which often lead to financial strain. Despite the arguments mentioned above, some might believe that young
people
 should focus on enjoying their earnings
while
 they have fewer responsibilities.
However
, starting to save early allows them to benefit from compound interest.
In other words
, money saved and invested over time grows significantly, leading to greater financial growth in the future.
Such
 financial discipline could enable young
people
 to achieve major life goals,
such
 as buying a home or retiring comfortably, much earlier. In conclusion,
while
 some might argue that young
people
 should prioritize spending,
it is clear that
 developing a habit of saving from a young age is crucial for long-term financial stability. I firmly believe that by saving early, individuals can secure a more stable and prosperous future.
Submitted by eparfenenkov on

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task achievement
You successfully addressed the prompt, but including a counterargument could enhance the depth of your response. Consider exploring aspects such as short-term financial sacrifices or the economic influence of youthful spending habits.
coherence cohesion
Your essay maintains a logical structure with clear and distinct paragraphs. Each paragraph builds on the previous one, providing a coherent and seamless flow. Continue organizing your essays in this manner for maximum clarity and impact.
task achievement
While your main points were supported effectively, adding more diverse examples could further enrich your essay. For instance, statistics on the benefits of early saving or anecdotal evidence could provide stronger support.
coherence cohesion
The introduction clearly outlines your stance, and it is summarized effectively in the conclusion. This provides clarity to the reader regarding your position on the topic.
coherence cohesion
Your main points were well-explained and logically connected, making your arguments easy to follow and convincing.
task achievement
You provided relevant examples and clear explanations, particularly in discussing the benefits of saving and compound interest, which strengthened your argument overall.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial security
  • safety net
  • unforeseen circumstances
  • emergencies
  • future investments
  • retirement planning
  • financial discipline
  • habit of saving
  • amassing wealth
  • substantial fund
  • opportunity cost
  • additional income
  • inflation
  • purchasing power
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