IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The table below gives information about the average annual spending of university students in three different countries.

The table below gives information about the average annual spending of university students in three different countries.
The table illustrates the data about the average yearly expenses of university pupils in three different nations. The essay describes the main features and compares them with the relevant information.
Overall
Linking Words
, It is seen that the most significant portion of the cost in accommodation sectors for nation A and
B
Use synonyms
's university students, contrast food is the highest spending of province
C
Use synonyms
 where other portion less. With regards to accommodation, there are expensing finance of about 45% and 35 per cent academic students in nations A and
B
Use synonyms
 where the trajectory is about 30% cost for kingdom
C
Use synonyms
. Meanwhile, the prominent ratio of money spent is about 36% in the food sector in province
C
Use synonyms
,
then
Linking Words
 22% in A and 28 per cent in
B
Use synonyms
. On another hand, a large amount of funding was spent on books for nation
C
Use synonyms
 about 21%
whereas
Linking Words
 for the country A and
B
Use synonyms
 expended very less amounts 3% and 9% respectively.
In contrast
Linking Words
, For the option of leisure, there are quite similar amounts of finance played out in states A and
B
Use synonyms
, with university pupils about 22 per cent and 23%.
Finally
Linking Words
, they disbursed much less figure of cost in other sectors
such
Linking Words
 as 8% in A and 5% in
B
Use synonyms
, where
this
Linking Words
 figure is negligible for country
C
Use synonyms
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words b, c with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 6 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: