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Band 6

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

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Conspicuously, In the modern world
Children
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 are spending a lot of their
time
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 on smartphones, and laptops. There are many reasons for
kids
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 spending their
time
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 on technology.
This
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 essay will explain the reason
as well as
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 whether
this
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 trend is a negative or a positive development for
society
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. The preponderant cause, why the offspring are spending hours on smartphones is after COVID-19 many of the schools have switched their studies remotely and they are taking their lectures, assessments and homework online and all the offspring's
study
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 work is done on iPads or laptops.
For instance
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, Capitano University is using their remote method of
study
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, and the teachers send all the work online to their students
as well as
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 posting online videos of the lectures for the students so they can
study
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 anytime.
Therefore
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, technology makes it possible to
study
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 by Blackberry and
children
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 are spending hours on phones to do networked education.
However
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,
according to
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 me,
this
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 trend has an adverse effect on
children
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 and
society
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. First and foremost, the
kids
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 are getting addicted to phones, and they are not giving some
time
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 to their families and friends
as well as
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 they too be alone.
In addition
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 to
this
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, spending too much
time
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 on the screen has a negative effect on the mental and physical health of the
children
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.
For example
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, many doctors claimed that spending too many hours on screen can damage the eyesight
as well as
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 have negative effects on the
children
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's minds and cause depression and anxiety.
Hence
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,
this
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 development has negative consequences on the
kids
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as well as
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 on
society
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 as the
kids
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 are the future of
society
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. In conclusion, there are many justifications
why
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for why
show examples
children
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 are consuming their much
time
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 on smartphones, but
this
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 could have
detrimental
Add an article
a detrimental
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 impact on them
as well as
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 on
community
Add an article
the community
show examples
.

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coherence cohesion
Develop paragraphs with a main idea, and follow up with supporting sentences that offer clear, detailed examples or explanations.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that the structure of paragraphs follows a logical order which clearly connects to the question being asked.
coherence cohesion
Include an introductory and concluding paragraph that clear presents the topic, your views, and a summarization of your main points.
task achievement
Fully address all parts of the task, providing a balanced view if the question requires discussion of more than one viewpoint or aspect.
task achievement
Present ideas that are not only relevant to the question but are also extended and supported by specific examples or evidence.
task achievement
Avoid overly general statements. Aim for depth rather than breadth when discussing the implications or causes of an issue.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • smartphones
  • usage
  • technology
  • accessibility
  • convenience
  • entertainment
  • gaming
  • social media
  • communication
  • educational resources
  • addiction
  • dependence
  • negative effects
  • physical health
  • mental health
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