in spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. why is this the case? what can be done about this problem?
Although
there have been so many advancements in agricultural areas, thousands of people
still suffer from hunger and not having a nutritional diet. There might be several reasons for this
occasion and also
there must be some solutions to solve Rephrase
apply
this
problem because if the advancements are not going to improve human beings’ life standards, then
what are they for?
In the case of inefficiency of agricultural developments, we can mention some statements which might show why this
is the case. Firstly
, the improvements in agriculture systems are exclusive to some specific nations. Those countries
might not tend to share their knowledge in this
field with any other countries
who
are in need of Correct pronoun usage
that
food
. For instance
, USA
has gained lots of knowledge in agrimony in Correct article usage
the USA
past
few decades but didn’t share Correct article usage
the past
this
with African countries
in spite of African countries
’ request
for it. Fix the agreement mistake
requests
Secondly
, the distribution of goods
is not balanced in most countries
. Even though rational
amount of Correct article usage
a rational
goods
is produced in some nations, due to
lack
of management skills of governors, Correct article usage
the lack
people
cannot get the benefits of these products. To illustrate this
statement, in Iran, some citizens get the best-quality food
, however
some others cannot even get the Add a comma
however,
goods
with
lower quality, Change preposition
of
although
there are tons of that specific food
stocked in huge refrigerators. Last
but not least, some farmers don’t tend to update their agricultural methods which leads to lesser amounts of final product. They prefer to stick to traditional approaches like most of the farmers in East Azarbaijan's villages. So, the less goods
are produced, the more hunger spreads.
But what can be done in order to overcome this
issue? First,
farmers should be acknowledged about
the improvements in agriculture and the way they can enhance their lives, so they might probably start investing in these new methods. Change preposition
for
Then
, people
can run campaigns to ask the government to manage the distribution of goods
in varied areas of the country. This
way all the citizens of the country get the
fair amount of Correct article usage
a
food
no matter where they live. And
Correct word choice
Finally
finally
, we can try to change the unfortunate globalized mindset of thinking only about ourselves and our own benefits and be more thoughtful of other people
even if they live in other nations. Advanced countries
might consider sharing not only the knowledge but also
the final products with underprivileged countries
.
In conclusion, some lack of considerations
has led to a lack of Fix the agreement mistake
consideration
food
available for so many people
worldwide, however
, a lot can be done to solve this
difficulty in order to prepare a better life for everyone in the world by using the benefits of all the achievements in agriculture in past few years.Submitted by eyvaziniloofar on
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Coherence & Cohesion
Ensure that your essay has a clear and logical structure. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea followed by supporting details and examples. Make sure the connection between the main points is explicit and your essay flows smoothly.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are present, which is good. However, work on making your introduction more impactful by clearly stating your thesis and outlining the structure of the essay. The conclusion should succinctly summarize the main points and restate the thesis effectively to leave a lasting impression on the reader.
Task Achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your arguments. Try to include data, studies, or case studies to illustrate your points and make your essay more convincing. Avoid general statements and strive to provide concrete evidence.
Task Achievement
You have addressed the task partially but need to fully develop your response. Be sure that you address all parts of the prompt. Discuss both why many people go hungry despite advances in agriculture and provide a more balanced discussion on potential solutions.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example