The personal information of many individuals is held by large internet companies and organisations. Do you think the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages.

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In the
mordern
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modern
era, social media plays an important role in
daily
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the daily
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life of
mostly
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most
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people. Most of the Internet
copanies
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companies
and organisations are known about the personal
data
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of
user
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users
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. In
this
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essay, I will discuss and give
out
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apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
an
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example
that
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apply
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following the negative trend.
To begin
Linking Words
, one of the most
reasons
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common reasons
show examples
that the holding
personal
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of personal
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information by companies
that
Add a missing verb
is that
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people can
lost
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lose
show examples
the
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their
show examples
data
Use synonyms
. That problem can
make
Verb problem
occur
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when people sign up
an
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for an
show examples
acount
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account
, they fill in a lot of personal
data
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about
them
Correct pronoun usage
themselves
show examples
. If the app we use is not
authen tic
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authentic
show examples
or official, we can lose the
data
Use synonyms
in hand.
For example
Linking Words
, there are many
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task achievement
Ensure that you fully address all parts of the task, including both advantages and disadvantages of personal information storage.
task achievement
Expand on your ideas with clear explanations and examples for each point you make.
coherence cohesion
Work on structuring your essay clearly with an introduction, body paragraphs for each point, and a conclusion.
coherence cohesion
Improve sentence cohesion by using linking words and phrases to connect your ideas smoothly.
task achievement
You made a valid attempt to address the task by recognising the issue of data vulnerability in personal information storage.
task achievement
Good effort in introducing a specific negative aspect regarding data loss related to personal information storage.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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