IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

A friend of yours is thinking of going on a camping holiday for the first time this summer. He/She has asked for your advice. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter • explain why you think your friend would enjoy a camping holiday • describe some possible disadvantages • say whether you would like to go camping with your friend this summer

#friend #holiday #first #time #summer #advice
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Dear Karen, It's so excited to see you are going on a camping holiday for the first time
this
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 summer, I can definitely give you some advice
base
Replace the word
based
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 on my past experience. There are many things to do
in
Change preposition
on
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 the camping holiday. Things like hiking, fishing and swimming can not only sanitize your brains and alleviate pressures from working
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 but
also
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 improve your survival abilities.
Besides
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, the camping will expose you to the
magnificient
Correct your spelling
magnificent
 natural scenes, where you can experience many
unforgetable
Correct your spelling
unforgettable
 moments with your loved ones. Having said that, there are some disadvantages of
such
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camping
Correct article usage
a camping
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 holiday as well,
such
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 as sharing bathrooms with other people at the campsite, bad weather, and dealing with bug bites and dangerous animals. Anyway, I
also
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 would have loved to go camping with you
this
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 summer, but since my cousin is visiting me from abroad
this
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 summer, I'll have to give up on that idea. Take care and stay fine. Warm wishes, Liren
Submitted by cyh000823 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that your letter has a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. Use a range of cohesive devices and paragraphing appropriately to help the reader follow your ideas more easily.
task achievement
Cover all parts of the task in sufficient detail. Each bullet point in the prompt should be expanded into its own paragraph with clear and relevant details.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • adventure
  • serenity
  • outdoors
  • refreshing
  • hustle and bustle
  • inherent
  • foster
  • distractions
  • cost-effective
  • unpredictable
  • wildlife
  • adequate preparation
  • physical demands
  • researching
  • campsite
  • lasting memories
  • mutual interests
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