Whether or not someone achieves their aims is mostly by a question of luck. To what extent do you agree or not agree?

#someone #luck

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Believe

Correct pronoun usage

it or

show examples

not someone gets their goals based on luck.

However

Add a comma

However,

show examples

in my view, I disagree with

this

argue

Replace the word

argument

show examples

because there is

God

Change noun form

God's

show examples

work

in human

life

and

human

Fix the agreement mistake

humans

show examples

work

hard to get their

gols

Correct your spelling

goals

. The biggest reason is that

human

Fix the agreement mistake

humans

show examples

are unlucky but blessed.

People

life

Replace the word

live

show examples

today because

God

blesses human

life

with

give

Verb problem

apply

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

job

Fix the agreement mistake

jobs

show examples

, food,

family

Fix the agreement mistake

families

show examples

and

evertything

Correct your spelling

everything

people

have in their

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

show examples

For example

Human

Fix the agreement mistake

Humans

show examples

still live today because

God

give

Wrong verb form

gave

show examples

to them eventually it is not because someone

lucky

Add a missing verb

is lucky

show examples

or not , it is because

God

created

human

Fix the agreement mistake

humans

show examples

and

give

Wrong verb form

gave

show examples

the best for

people

God

loves. Another reason is

Correct determiner usage

that, everthing

show examples

Change preposition

for everthing

show examples

everthing

Correct your spelling

everything

people

will achieve in their

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

show examples

, they have to

work

hard. They try to make movement

one

Change preposition

from one

show examples

side to

aother

Correct your spelling

another

side. They cannot get something without working for it.

for instance

, employee have to give the best performance in their company

hence

they will get their salary. to recapitulate, I disagree somebody achieved their hit by luck because

Change the capitalization

show examples

believe someone

get

Change the verb form

gets

show examples

their goals because

god

blessing

Wrong verb form

blesses

show examples

for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

them and they

work

hard for that.

Submitted by misstiasclassroom on Tue Dec 26 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Coherence and Cohesion

The essay lacks a clear and logical structure. Each paragraph should clearly state its main idea and develop that idea with supporting sentences. Transitions between ideas and paragraphs could be greatly improved to enhance readability and flow.

Task Achievement

You have addressed the task only partially, providing a limited response to the prompt. You must develop your arguments more fully and provide more relevant examples to support your viewpoint. Always ensure you address all parts of the prompt.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
29
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

180 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

diligence
consistent effort
inherent talent
honing skills
external factors
upbringing
social connections
economic background
right place at the right time
contributing factor
conjunction
success
achievements
endeavors
fortune
serendipity
determinants
efficacy

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

4
band
An increasing number of schools provide tablets and laptop computers for students to use in school, replacing books and other printed materials like exams and assignments. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this trend?
A rise in the ratio of using personal devices instead of books and other stationary tools seems to be a subject of concern. Accessing and updating students with up-to-the-minute technology would be considered to be as the most welcoming merits which is assumed to lead to lack of activity is youth age and high maintenance costs for authorities as its drawback.
7
band
Some people think that success in life comes from hard work and determination, while others think that there are more important factors, such as money and appearance. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Many people believe that effort and discipline play an important role in achieving success in life, while others argue that money and appearance are two aspects that significantly influence one's success. In this essay, I will discuss the advantages and drawbacks of this phenomenon and provide my own perspective.
4
band
Task 1: Plan A below shows a health centre in 2005. Plan B shows the same place in the present day. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and making comparisons where relevant.
These maps illustrate the transformation of a student building over 10 years.
<4
band
Some people enjoy change and they look forward to new experiences. Other like their lives to stay the same and they do not change their usual habits. Compare these two approaches to life and explain your perferance.
Some people try to often change their work and living place, by contrast other consider it is risk alter frequently. Personally, I agree with former statement. In this essay I will explain my viewpoint.
5
band
some believe that role of the parents is more important than school when teaching their children to recycle waste to preserve the Earth’s natural resources. . to what extend do you agree or disagree?
It is argued that parents should be the one who teach their children the important of recycling for the environment, while others believe that it is the responsibility of the school. This essay agrees with the notion that parents should be the mentor of their kids the teach the right way to recycle waste, As they have the most influence in the children and can always supervised them to do better at reusing waste.

Whether or not someone achieves their aims is mostly by a question of luck. To what extent do you agree or not agree?

Fully explain your ideas

An increasing number of schools provide tablets and laptop computers for students to use in school, replacing books and other printed materials like exams and assignments. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this trend?

Some people think that success in life comes from hard work and determination, while others think that there are more important factors, such as money and appearance. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Task 1: Plan A below shows a health centre in 2005. Plan B shows the same place in the present day. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and making comparisons where relevant.

Some people enjoy change and they look forward to new experiences. Other like their lives to stay the same and they do not change their usual habits. Compare these two approaches to life and explain your perferance.

some believe that role of the parents is more important than school when teaching their children to recycle waste to preserve the Earth’s natural resources. . to what extend do you agree or disagree?