Whether or not someone achieves their aims is mostly by a question of luck. To what extent do you agree or not agree?

#someone #luck

Believe

Correct pronoun usage

it or

show examples

not someone gets their goals based on luck.

However

Add a comma

However,

show examples

in my view, I disagree with

this

argue

Replace the word

argument

show examples

because there is

God

Change noun form

God's

show examples

work

in human

life

and

human

Fix the agreement mistake

humans

show examples

work

hard to get their

gols

Correct your spelling

goals

. The biggest reason is that

human

Fix the agreement mistake

humans

show examples

are unlucky but blessed.

People

life

Replace the word

live

show examples

today because

God

blesses human

life

with

give

Verb problem

apply

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

job

Fix the agreement mistake

jobs

show examples

, food,

family

Fix the agreement mistake

families

show examples

and

evertything

Correct your spelling

everything

people

have in their

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

show examples

For example

Human

Fix the agreement mistake

Humans

show examples

still live today because

God

give

Wrong verb form

gave

show examples

to them eventually it is not because someone

lucky

Add a missing verb

is lucky

show examples

or not , it is because

God

created

human

Fix the agreement mistake

humans

show examples

and

give

Wrong verb form

gave

show examples

the best for

people

God

loves. Another reason is

Correct determiner usage

that, everthing

show examples

Change preposition

for everthing

show examples

everthing

Correct your spelling

everything

people

will achieve in their

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

show examples

, they have to

work

hard. They try to make movement

one

Change preposition

from one

show examples

side to

aother

Correct your spelling

another

side. They cannot get something without working for it.

for instance

, employee have to give the best performance in their company

hence

they will get their salary. to recapitulate, I disagree somebody achieved their hit by luck because

Change the capitalization

show examples

believe someone

get

Change the verb form

gets

show examples

their goals because

god

blessing

Wrong verb form

blesses

show examples

for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

them and they

work

hard for that.

Submitted by misstiasclassroom on Tue Dec 26 2023

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Coherence and Cohesion

The essay lacks a clear and logical structure. Each paragraph should clearly state its main idea and develop that idea with supporting sentences. Transitions between ideas and paragraphs could be greatly improved to enhance readability and flow.

Task Achievement

You have addressed the task only partially, providing a limited response to the prompt. You must develop your arguments more fully and provide more relevant examples to support your viewpoint. Always ensure you address all parts of the prompt.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
29Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

180 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

diligence
consistent effort
inherent talent
honing skills
external factors
upbringing
social connections
economic background
right place at the right time
contributing factor
conjunction
success
achievements
endeavors
fortune
serendipity
determinants
efficacy

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Whether or not someone achieves their aims is mostly by a question of luck. To what extent do you agree or not agree?

Fully explain your ideas

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Large companies use sport events to promote their products. Some people think this has a negative impact on sports. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Government should spend money to encourage the development of sport and art for school students, rather than supporting professional sports and art performance for general public.

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Modern technology has greatly changed how we work and is of benefit to all societies. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+