Many people in poor countries die from diseases that are curable because they cannot afford the medication required. Do you believe that drug companies should make their products available at reduced prices in these countries?

Expensive
Add an article
The expensive
show examples
price
of
medications
has caused mortality, as many people in poor
countries
cannot
be recovered
Wrong verb form
recover
show examples
from curable
disease
Fix the agreement mistake
diseases
show examples
because of the high
price
. The producers should be responsible for the supply and
price
of their
products
. I believe that these
companies
should provide affordable
medications
for poor people and
this
essay will explain my view.
Firstly
, any pharmaceutical
products
Change noun form
product's
show examples
price
can be adjusted from the cost of goods sold.
In
Change preposition
From
show examples
financial
Correct article usage
a financial
show examples
perspective, the margin of
products
can be lowered as they can be sold at lower
price
Fix the agreement mistake
prices
show examples
.
For instance
, these
companies
can increase their margins for
commercial
Add an article
the commercial
show examples
market and
then
they can decrease the
price
for the poor
countries
.
Therefore
, their
products
can be affordable for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
unfortunate groups.
Secondly
, these conglomerates could organize socially-oriented
program
Fix the agreement mistake
programs
show examples
like corporate social responsibility (CSR). The CSR
program
can play a big part in order to solve the social issue
about
Change preposition
of
show examples
medications
in lower-income
countries
. As an example, these
companies
can visit the poor
countries
and conduct the CSR
program
by distributing free
medications
and medical
examination
Fix the agreement mistake
examinations
show examples
as well. That kind of
program
might be helpful in order to help them recover from the diseases. In conclusion, as many people in poor
countries
cannot afford
medications
to cure their diseases,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
pharmaceutical
companies
should be involved
to tackle
Change preposition
in tackling
show examples
this
problem. In order to solve the problem they can consider several actions
like
Change preposition
apply
show examples
, producing special
products
with lower
price
Fix the agreement mistake
prices
show examples
for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
poor
countries
and conducting corporate
initiative
Fix the agreement mistake
initiatives
show examples
to distribute free
medications
.
In addition
, running a big business like
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
drug
conglomerates
Fix the agreement mistake
conglomerate
show examples
can
also
have
big
Add an article
a big
show examples
social impact
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society.
Submitted by nadhif2799 on

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task achievement
Ensure each paragraph has a clear central idea that relates back to the overall essay question. Sometimes the connection between your points and the essay topic could be stronger and more direct.
coherence cohesion
Work on developing logical connections between your ideas. While the essay structure is acceptable, transitions between points could be smoother to enhance readability.
task achievement
Include concrete examples which are directly related to the points you make about the companies' capacity to lower costs and their CSR initiatives. This strengthens your argument and illustrates your point more clearly.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Pharmaceuticals
  • Generic drugs
  • Patent laws
  • Healthcare disparity
  • Subsidies
  • Non-Governmental Organizations (NGOs)
  • Intellectual property
  • Epidemiology
  • Affordability
  • Global health initiatives
  • Corporate social responsibility
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