Some people think who have been in prison become good citizens later and it is often argued that these people are the best to talk to teenagers about the dangers of committing a crime . To what extent do you agree or disagree?

There is an ongoing debate regarding the matter of people which thinks that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
prisoners become
respective
Correct pronoun usage
their respective
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individuals after experiencing
jail
Correct article usage
the jail
show examples
system .
Whereas
, a group of individuals are inclined to think that prisoners are the best source for the young generation to spread awareness regarding
ill
Correct article usage
the ill
show examples
effects of practising unethical activities. If I questioned, I agree with
this
phenomenon to a major extent.
However
, my viewpoints will be elaborated
in
Change preposition
on in
show examples
upcoming paragraphs.
Submitted by pranshu15shah on

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introduction
The introduction lacks a clear thesis statement and fails to paraphrase the prompt effectively, which can confuse the reader about the essay's direction. Make sure to rephrase the question and clearly state your position.
logical structure
Your essay should have a logical progression of ideas with clear topic sentences that reflect the main ideas. Each paragraph should have a single, clear idea that is expanded upon with explanations or examples.
coherence cohesion
Work on using a variety of linking words and phrases to connect ideas more coherently and make the essay easier to follow. Avoid overusing the same connectors and ensure that each paragraph flows smoothly into the next.
task achievement
To fully address the task, expand your essay with a fully developed argument that includes a clear position on the statement. Include specific examples and explanations that support your view, and ensure that each main point is fully elaborated upon.
conclusion
The conclusion is missing from your essay. Make sure to include a strong conclusion that restates your main ideas and clearly provides a summary of your argument. This solidifies your response and gives the essay a strong closure.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • prisoners
  • rehabilitation
  • recidivism
  • consequences
  • insights
  • deterrent
  • guidance
  • support
  • role models
  • positive change
What to do next:
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