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Band 7.5

The pie chart below shows information on the highest level of education of women in Someland in 1945 and 1995

The pie chart below shows information on the highest level of education of women in Someland in 1945 and 1995
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The pie chart illustrates the information on the highest level of education of
women
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 in Someland between 1945 and 1995.
Overall
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, it is clearly observed that the percentage of
women
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 who completed their first degree and postgraduate diploma escalated by the year 1995 . And it could be clearly seen that there was a big change in all the other categories, except for the year 9 group. It is obvious that in 1945, the rate of
women
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 who did not go to school was up to exactly 35%, which was the highest figure in the whole pie chart. An equal rate was recorded in the third-grade sort.
In contrast
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, postgraduate was at the bottom of the list of seven qualifications because no females kept going to school after they had graduated. In 1995, thanks to a dramatic escalation,
,
Change the punctuation
apply

The punctuation in , , is incorrect. Consider changing the punctuation.

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first
Add an article
the first
a first

The noun phrase first degree seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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 degree was the most common educated level of
women
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 in Someland with 50%. A sharp increase was
also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 witnessed in the 12th and postgraduate groups.
In contrast
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 , the ratio of
women
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 who completed their third grade, 6th grade or did not get to school reduced to 0%

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "in contrast".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 78%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words women with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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