IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Newspapers play a significant role in shaping public opinions and beliefs. Do you consider this to be a positive or negative development? Explain your viewpoint with reasons and include appropriate examples based on your knowledge or experiences.

Newspapers have long been an essential source of information and news among all generations shaping public opinions and beliefs. In my opinion,
this
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 is an
unfavorable
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unfavourable
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 advancement for two key reasons. One of the major benefits of
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 development is that allows the public to stay up-to-date. Individuals might read newspapers to keep up with the latest news and current happenings which they did not know before.
For example
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, if a war breaks out in one part of the world today, the people in the other parts will certainly come to know about it tomorrow.
As a result
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, all the countries of the world are able to do something quickly to help those who have suffered because of the war.
This
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 access to information not only keeps people informed but
also
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 helps build global awareness and cooperation during times of crisis. Another significant advantage of the magazine is the development of critical thinking. Through reading the newspaper, people will have a clear idea and rich vocabulary, which is crucial for academic learning and personal growth. The New York Times newspaper is a pertinent example that offers a wide range of topics, including not limited to articles and theoretical themes.
This
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 kind of material is not only advantageous for adults but
also
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 for teenagers who find interesting and useful topics in
this
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 material.
For instance
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, if teens often read detailed reports and discussions,
this
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 will show the effect on their comprehension and writing with reasoning skills. The importance of newspapers
therefore
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 is obvious. In conclusion, reading daily journals can offer certain benefits to society’s development
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 as possible approaches to knowing what is going on in the world and improvements in education.
Therefore
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, I consider
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 improvement
is
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to be
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 highly positive.

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Task Achievement
The introduction does not clearly outline that the development of newspapers is viewed negatively, as you state it is an 'unfavorable advancement.' Consider rephrasing it to directly express your viewpoint.
Task Achievement
Make sure to elaborate on why the access to information can be considered negative. Include details on the potential for misinformation or bias in newspaper reporting.
Coherence and Cohesion
Organize your paragraphs to ensure that your main ideas are clearly presented and connected. For example, the advantages mentioned could be better tied to your overall viewpoint of negativity.
Coherence and Cohesion
The conclusion should reiterated the main points made throughout your essay clearly and succinctly, in relation to your viewpoint against newspapers' role in shaping public opinion.
Language
The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary and a variety of sentence structures.
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