IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The chart below shows the changes that took place in three different areas of crime in Panama City from 2010 to 2019. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows the changes that took place in three different areas of crime in Panama City from 2010 to 2019. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#changes #place #three #areas #crime #panama #city #summarise #information #features #comparisons
this
 line chart illustrates numerous
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
crimes
such
 as; armed robbery , assault and murder
where
Correct word choice
which
show examples
 happened in London
from
Change preposition
in
show examples
 2003 and throughout 10 years.
Overall
, the total
number
crime
Change preposition
of crime
show examples
 of A.R
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
the
Change the article
apply
show examples
significant
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the whole span,
while
,
assault
Add an article
an assault
the assault
show examples
 was
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
half
comparing
Wrong verb form
compared
show examples
 to
previous
Correct article usage
the previous
show examples
 one, the letter was
murder
Add an article
a murder
show examples
 which
reach
Wrong verb form
reached
show examples
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the lowest
number
 in the period.
To begin
,
majority
Correct article usage
the majority
show examples
crime
Change preposition
of crime
show examples
 was AR in 2004
was
Verb problem
apply
show examples
reach
Wrong verb form
reaching
show examples
 its peak
about
Change preposition
at about
show examples
 3700, before
substantial
Correct article usage
a substantial
show examples
 dropping was 1000 in 2008,
following
Wrong verb form
followed
show examples
 by
Correct article usage
a slightly
show examples
slightly increased
Replace the word
slight increase
show examples
by
Change preposition
of
show examples
 500
crimes
 were stable
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
three years later.
Moreover
, assault
starting
Wrong verb form
started
show examples
 by approximately 2300 and
following
Verb problem
apply
show examples
the
number
 of
crimes
 dropped by 500
crimes
 in 2006
thus
, fluctuant increased to
reached
Change the form of the verb
reach
show examples
 the highest
number
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
about 2600
crimes
 in the final period. Regarding
to
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
the chart, murder was
insignificant
Add an article
the insignificant
an insignificant
show examples
number
 of
crimes
 except in 2005 the total of people was killed around 1000.
Submitted by M on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vocabulary: Replace the words crimes, number with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "reach" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Crime rates
  • Fluctuated
  • Significant spike
  • Consistent trend
  • Prevalent
  • Cumulative change
  • Enforcement
  • Correlate
  • Reduction/increase in crime
  • Categories of crime
  • Level of crime
  • Period of time
  • Analysis
  • Data representation
What to do next:
Look at other essays: