Some people believe that public celebrations like national days and festivals are a waste of money. They are of the opinion that people should spend money on more important things. Do you agree or disagree? Support your arguments with examples from your own experience.

Festivals and national days have

been

Verb problem

played

show examples

a crucial role

to foster

Change preposition

in fostering

show examples

the

Correct article usage

show examples

sense of unity since the early

time

Fix the agreement mistake

times

show examples

of civilizations, and these celebrations have always

been

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

required

huge

Correct article usage

a huge

show examples

amount of

Money

Use synonyms

. At that point, there comes a question to the minds: whether spending

money

Use synonyms

on these activities are

wasting

Replace the word

waste

show examples

Use synonyms

Money

Change preposition

of Money

show examples

or not. It can easily stated that there are many pressing issues in our world including

climate

Use synonyms

chance

Correct your spelling

change

show examples

and

housing

Correct article usage

the housing

show examples

crisis

Use synonyms

, and in order to improve individuals life quality these crucial issues should be prioritized by governments.

Firstly

Linking Words

, one of the main issues which has

harmful

Add an article

a harmful

show examples

impact on people’s

live

Replace the word

lives

show examples

climate

Use synonyms

change

Use synonyms

lead

Correct subject-verb agreement

leads

show examples

to rising sea

level

Fix the agreement mistake

levels

show examples

and

temperature

Fix the agreement mistake

temperatures

show examples

Hence

Linking Words

, many agricultural lands are affected badly either many areas have been stayed under the sea or plants can not be raised

due to

Linking Words

the weather

change

Use synonyms

As a result

Linking Words

,not only numerous farmer

are

Change the verb form

show examples

facing the danger of losing their income, but

also

Linking Words

all of the

residants

Correct your spelling

residents

globe

Add an article

the globe

show examples

are facing the risk of losing their meals. Mitigating these adverse effects requires

huge

Add an article

a huge

show examples

amount of

money

Use synonyms

, with the help of

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

strong

foundations

Change to a genitive case

foundation's

show examples

countries may build new

laboratuaries

Correct your spelling

laboratories

, and may develop new techniques in order to combat the consequences of

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

climate

Use synonyms

change

Use synonyms

. Turning to another

virtal

Correct your spelling

virtual

vital

issue,

housing

Correct article usage

the housing

show examples

crisis

Use synonyms

, many inhabitants who live in the city

center

Change the spelling

centre

show examples

are suffering from overpriced houses. Since the global economic

crisis

Use synonyms

, many

worker

Change to a plural noun

workers

show examples

had to move toward the city

center

Change the spelling

centre

show examples

, and

this

Linking Words

pattern resulted in

housing

Add an article

a housing

the housing

show examples

crisis

Use synonyms

. As the number of house supply could not

affort

Correct your spelling

afford

the demand the prices have dramatically increased. By investing in new

residental

Correct your spelling

residential

area

Fix the agreement mistake

areas

show examples

this

Linking Words

proble

Correct your spelling

problem

may be addressed by authorities.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, with the aim of promoting the sense of nation, organising some festivals may seem valuable.

While

Linking Words

citizens may feel the sense of

comunity

Correct your spelling

community

deeper, as long as the globe is being

hosted

Wrong verb form

hosting

show examples

those concerns

such

Linking Words

housing

Correct article usage

the housing

show examples

crisis

Use synonyms

and

climate

Use synonyms

chance

Correct your spelling

change

show examples

spending

money

Use synonyms

such

Linking Words

festivals may seem like

wasting

Wrong verb form

a waste of

show examples

the budget. The importance of togetherness could not be overlooked;

however

Linking Words

, unless solving more

esssential isues

Correct your spelling

essential issues

these celebrations should be waited. It is undeniable that the value of accessing affordable houses and alleviating the bad outcomes of

climate

Use synonyms

change

Use synonyms

is more essential than public celebrations for all people

acroos

Correct your spelling

across

the globe.

To conclude

Linking Words

, when all the things are taken into

are

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

account, the importance of national days should not be underestimated, but

also

Linking Words

these events should not be at the top of priority. Governments should

be prioritize

Change the verb form

prioritize

show examples

their

citizen’s

Change noun form

citizens’

show examples

life

Replace the word

living

show examples

conditions and try to create a more livable environment for them by investing

new

Change preposition

in new

show examples

tech with the aim of combating

climate

Use synonyms

change

Use synonyms

and

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

and providing more affordable and adequate

residental

Correct your spelling

residential

area

Fix the agreement mistake

areas

show examples

ilaydailday

Dec 26, 2023

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task response

The essay provides a response to the prompt but tends to repeat the same ideas. To improve your score, ensure your points are distinct, and you fully develop each one with specific, varied examples.

coherence cohesion

The essay structure needs attention. An introductory sentence that clearly states your position would strengthen your introduction. Both introduction and conclusion exist but are underdeveloped. For better coherence, each paragraph should start with a clear topic sentence, followed by supporting sentences and a conclusion. Ensure the conclusion effectively summarizes your views without introducing new information.

coherence cohesion

To enhance the score for coherence and cohesion, make sure to use a variety of linking words to connect ideas and sentences, and organize the essay into clear paragraphs. Avoid repetition and make sure each paragraph elaborates on a central idea. Also, work on punctuation and appropriate paragraphing to enhance the readability of the text.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
48
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

449 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Public celebrations,
Foster,
National identity,
Societal bonds,
Cultural heritage,
Economic stimulus,
Tourism,
Revenue,
Seasonal employment,
Educational opportunities,
Tradition,
Mental health,
Well-being,
Misallocation of resources,
Public services,
Inclusivity,
Environmental impact,
Littering,
Pollution,
Carbon footprint,
Cost-effective,
Community-driven

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Some people believe that public celebrations like national days and festivals are a waste of money. They are of the opinion that people should spend money on more important things. Do you agree or disagree? Support your arguments with examples from your own experience.

Some people say that protecting the environment is the government's responsibility. Others believe that every individual should be responsible for it. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. Vy

Women should have an equal role alongside men in both police and armed forces. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some experts believe that when a country is already rich, any additional increase in economic wealth does not make its citizens any more satisfied. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that technological advances in healthcare have made medical treatment more accessible to people living in remote areas. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?