Many people today choose to take part in extreme sports (e.g. skydiving, rock climbing). Why do you think people want to do these sports? Who do you think should pay if people injure themselves while doing an extreme sport?

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Nowadays
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Nowadays,
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many people around the world decide to engage in risky sports. In my view, they often choose
such
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activity in order to achieve their personal and professional goals, no matter if they have to pay additional costs in case of injury.
Firstly
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, humans participate in extreme sports
,
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apply
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because it is a form of entertainment that provides not only a sense of satisfaction
,
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apply
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but
also
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a rush of adrenaline.
For instance
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, snowboarding is a great choice for those who want to experience excitement
while
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glinding
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gliding
on the snow.
Moreover
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, some pick it as a career, dedicating themselves
further
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on
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apply
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by accepting challenges.
Therefore
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,
this
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type of activity really can contribute to one’s life, as it brings joy and seems more fun than the usual ones.
Secondly
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, people should be responsible and cover the main costs in case of injury, because,
afterall
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after all
, they
took
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made
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a decision that involves their health.
For example
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, extreme sport athletes can injure themselves
due to
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unproper
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improper
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training or lack of experience. In
this
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case, it is justified for the individuals to pay the medical costs.
However
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, if an accident is caused by other external factors
such
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as
worn out
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worn-out
equipment or
unmanaged
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an unmanaged
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field, the company at fault should provide financial help.
To sum up
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, dangerous sports have become popular, as they have quite a few benefits.
Also
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, the ones responsible for the harm should pay. In my view,
although
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these occupations are risky, they are worth the time and money.

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task response
Answer both parts more fully. Say more about why people do these sports, and say more clearly who should pay in each case.
task response
Your main ideas are clear, but some points need more support. Add one more clear reason or example in each body part.
task response
Keep your position very clear from start to end. Your view is mostly clear, but the last line about jobs may confuse the reader.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, middle, and end. To make it stronger, link ideas more smoothly inside each paragraph.
coherence and cohesion
Some linking words are used well, like first, moreover, however, and to sum up. Try not to rely only on basic links; make sure each sentence follows the one before it in a natural way.
coherence and cohesion
A few words and phrases make meaning less clear, so the flow becomes weaker. Check word choice and small grammar points to help the reader follow your ideas easily.
task response
You answered both parts of the task, so the reader can see your full view.
task response
You gave examples to support your ideas, such as snowboarding and injury from poor training.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay is easy to follow because it has a clear paragraph plan.
coherence and cohesion
You used clear signpost words to guide the reader through your ideas.
Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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