The line graph shows visits to and from the UK from 1979 to 1990, and the bar graph shows the most popular countries visited by UK residents in 1999

#line #visits #uk #bar #countries #residents

Both

Change preposition

apply

show examples

diagrams illustrate the number of

visitors

to and from the United Kingdom

thoughout

Correct your spelling

throughout

11 years and the most famous countries in

Correct article usage

the UK

show examples

in 1999.

Overall

, the total of

visitors

that went abroad from and came to England

was keep went

Wrong verb form

kept going

show examples

up during the period in question.

Moreover

, the most popular country visited by UK citizens was France.

Firstly

, in 1979, people

went

Correct pronoun usage

who went

show examples

oversea

Fix the agreement mistake

overseas

show examples

from Britain was just above 10

millions

Change to singular

million

show examples

and it grew

Change preposition

apply

show examples

to 20

millions

Change to singular

million

show examples

human in roughly 1985. After that, it dramatically increased

Change preposition

by 30

show examples

millions

Change to singular

million

show examples

that

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

made

Wrong verb form

making

show examples

stood

Wrong verb form

stand

show examples

at over 50

millions

Change to singular

million

show examples

people.

On the other hand

, there

was

Correct subject-verb agreement

were

show examples

millions

Change to singular

million

show examples

foreign

Correct your spelling

foreigners who

show examples

visited England

Change the preposition

show examples

the beginning of 1979. It had a slight change for approximately 5 years

then

remarkably climbed

untill

Correct your spelling

more than 20

millions

Change to singular

million

show examples

Lastly

, in 1999, a bit more than 10

millions

Fix the agreement mistake

million

show examples

Britain people visited France which

the

Add a missing verb

has the

show examples

highest number of

visitors

compared to

another countries

Replace the adjective

another country

other countries

show examples

. Not far

that

Change preposition

from that

show examples

number, there was Spain with around 9

millions

Change to singular

million

show examples

visitors

. The remaining data were

Turkey

Change preposition

from Turkey

show examples

, Greece, and

USA

Correct article usage

the USA

show examples

with just below 5

millions

Change to singular

million

show examples

visitors

Submitted by joyapakpahan on Tue Dec 26 2023

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

▼

Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.

Vocabulary: Replace the words visitors, millions with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.

▼

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
29Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

181 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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The line graph shows visits to and from the UK from 1979 to 1990, and the bar graph shows the most popular countries visited by UK residents in 1999

Museum and Art Galleries should concentrate on work that show history and culture of their own country rather than work of the other part in the world.To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Art and music are considered some of the fundamental elements of all the societies. Do you think art and music still have a place in today's modern world of technology? Should children spend more time learning art and music at school?

Some believe children should be taught to give speeches and presentations in school. Why is this? What other skills do you think it is important to be taught in schools?

some people usually appreciate others according to social status or material possessions and they think ol-fashioned values include honor, kindness, trust are not important in the digital era.

Some people believe that sport has an important role in society. Others, however, feel that it is nothing more than a leisure activity for some people. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.