Some students work while studying. This often results in lacking time for education and constantly feeling under pressure. What do you think are the causes of this? high tuition fees supporting family What solutions can you suggest? grants , scholarships , apply for less courses in each semester

Nowadays students work
while
studying
invesely
Correct your spelling
inversely
intensely
affecting their academic performance and causing mental pressure.
This
essay will delve into the causes of
this
issue and put forward some practical solutions to address it. First and foremost, one of the obvious
reason
Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
show examples
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
the part-time jobs are the high
tution
Correct your spelling
tuition
fees and living expenses.
In other words
, educational institutions are immensely
increase
Wrong verb form
increased
show examples
their
tution
Correct your spelling
tuition
fees in
last
Correct article usage
the last
show examples
decade which
causes
Wrong verb form
has caused
show examples
financial implications for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
middle income
Add a hyphen
middle-income
show examples
families.
For example
, a renowned university in the UK
,
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apply
show examples
increased their
tution
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tuition
fees
at
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by
show examples
20%
in
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apply
show examples
last
year.
Moreover
, living expenses in major cities are increased
inclusing
Correct your spelling
including
house rents.
As a result
, students are forced to do part-time jobs to meet
thier
Correct your spelling
their
financial needs.
Submitted by ck.manshad on

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structure
Your essay has a clear introduction but lacks a conclusive paragraph. Ensure that every essay has a distinct conclusion summarizing your arguments and restating your position.
content
While you identify causes such as high tuition fees and living expenses, and part-time jobs as solutions, the essay does not address supporting family as a cause nor does it discuss grants, scholarships, or taking fewer courses as potential solutions. Expand your essay to cover all the points mentioned in the essay prompt for a more complete response.
coherence
The logical flow of ideas is present, but could be improved with better transition between sentences and paragraphs. Use phrases like 'In addition,' 'Furthermore,' or 'Consequently' to make connections between ideas clearer.
development
Providing a specific example is good, but try to include more varied examples or evidence to support your points. Also, consider mentioning some solutions in more depth, i.e., how grants and scholarships could alleviate financial stress, or the benefits of taking fewer courses per semester.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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