The charts below give information about attendance at entertainment venues and admission prices to those venues in 2009.

#information #attendance #entertainment #venues #admission #prices

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The chart shows information that in 2009, the highest number of attendance at entertainment venues

Wrong verb form

was

show examples

the number of

people

Use synonyms

going to the cinemas. One of the reasons why

alot

Correct your spelling

a lot

people

Use synonyms

prefer to watch the cinema

Correct your spelling

show examples

because the

ticket

Use synonyms

cost is cheaper compared to admission

ticket

Use synonyms

price

Fix the agreement mistake

prices

show examples

for other entertainment activities. The

ticket

Use synonyms

price for one person is $15 and if someone

decide

Change the verb form

decides

show examples

brought

Change the verb

bring

show examples

people

Use synonyms

with them, there is a discount available where tickets for 4

people

Use synonyms

the

ticket

Use synonyms

only

costs

Correct subject-verb agreement

cost

show examples

$55. The chart

also

Linking Words

shows that there's sports

Use synonyms

event

Fix the agreement mistake

events

show examples

Correct subject-verb agreement

are

show examples

also

Linking Words

a popular

event

Use synonyms

but the number of attendance

Change preposition

show examples

the

game

Fix the agreement mistake

games

show examples

is very low.

Due to

Linking Words

the fact, that

2009

Correct article usage

the 2009

show examples

football game admission

Use synonyms

ticket

Fix the agreement mistake

tickets

show examples

Correct subject-verb agreement

are

show examples

more expensive rather than

movies

Fix the agreement mistake

movie

show examples

or theme

parks

Fix the agreement mistake

park tickets

show examples

ticket

Use synonyms

. We can conclude, that the most popular entertainment

event

Use synonyms

in 2009

Wrong verb form

was

show examples

watching movies in the cinema. Following that, there are

also

Linking Words

people

Use synonyms

who took

interest

Correct article usage

an interest

show examples

Change preposition

show examples

theme

park

Fix the agreement mistake

parks

show examples

and sports

Use synonyms

event

Fix the agreement mistake

events

show examples

Submitted by indyynaila on Wed Dec 27 2023

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".

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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words people, ticket, event with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.

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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.

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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.

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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.

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2
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
21
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

3 paragraphs

162 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

attendance
entertainment venues
admission prices
visitors
comparison
percentage
revenue
cost-effective
correlation
trends
marketing strategies
fluctuations
cultural events
accessibility
demographics
peak season
off-peak
consumer behavior
pricing strategy
profit margin

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The charts below give information about attendance at entertainment venues and admission prices to those venues in 2009.

The most important aim of science should be to improve peoples lives. To what extent do you agre or disagree with this statement?

Some people believe that children are responsible for their crimes and should be punished for them. Others think the parents are in charge and should be punished instead. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

People in the current generation are not fit and active. What are the problems with this issue? What can be done to encourage people to participate in sports activities?

There are several factors that motivate people to stay in the workforce, and money is the most important factor. To what extent do you agree or disagree?