IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Governments should spend money on railways rather than roads. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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It is said that investment in
railways
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 is more significant than
roads
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.
While
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 I believe that both
roads
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 and
railways
Use synonyms
 are significant, I prefer to agree with investing in
railways
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due to
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 more people can be encouraged to use public transportation and
railways
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 are one of the main ways to transport goods.
To begin
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 with, Spending
money
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 on
railways
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 is essential as it has two major advantages. One benefit is that by rebuilding old and constructing new
railways
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 the government can stimulate people to use public transportation
such
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 as tram and underground.
This
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 measure leads to a reduction of traffic congestion and air pollution so citizens can enjoy breathing clear air.
In addition
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, in the long
term
Add a comma
term,
show examples
 it can prevent global warming and
consequently
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 stay off climate change.
Also
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, since many industrial and chemical cargoes are transported through trains it is vital to spend
money
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 on them to hinder the likelihood of accidents. If
railways
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 aren'
t
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 in a suitable situation, moving things by them will be risky and cause inevitable loss of economy or it may be life-threatening for those who work in trains.
On the other hand
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, I would argue that spending more
money
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 on
roads
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 isn'
t
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 as important as
railways
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.
However
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,
Roads
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 are one of the features that give a city an elegant view and offer people convenient driving. The more society enjoys driving private vehicles every day, the more Pollution and traffic jams will emerge and threaten their health. I don'
t
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 mean that
roads
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 shouldn'
t
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 be usable, I try to convey That Focusing just on
roads
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 may cause some detrimental impacts. In conclusion, in my opinion, paying
money
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 for
Railways
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 not only prevents problems related to the economy but
also
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 can cause folks to utilize
such
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 public transportation.

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introduction conclusion present
Your introduction and conclusion are present, which is good, but they lack a clear statement of your position.
logical structure
supported main points
Main points are supported but could benefit from more varied and sophisticated language.
complete response
You addressed the task, provided a full response to the prompt, and presented clear ideas, but the position can be at times a bit vague. Make sure your opinion is clear and consistent throughout.
relevant specific examples
Added examples and data to support your arguments would help to make your essay more persuasive.
clear comprehensive ideas
Your ideas are clear, but they could be expressed using a wider range of structures and vocabulary.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Carbon emissions
  • Mass transportation
  • Traffic congestion
  • Economic growth
  • Regional development
  • Initial investment
  • Feasibility
  • Flexibility
  • Rural areas
  • Integration
  • Sustainable
  • Efficiency
  • Infrastructure
  • Commuters
  • Public expenditure
  • Autonomous vehicles
  • Long-term investment
  • Accessibility
  • Connectivity
  • Modal shift
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