IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Computers and modems have made it possible for office workers to do much of their works from home instead of working in offices every day. Working from home should be encouraged as it is good for workers and employees. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

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In the current era,
due to
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 the advancement of technology, it has transformed everything, and working patterns are one of those. Some part of the group thinks that it is better to
work
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 remotely as it is better for both employers and employees. I totally agree with the statement, and my inclination would be justified in the following paragraphs.
Firstly
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, there are numerous advantages of working from
home
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, but the most significant one is that it helps to save
money
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. Put it in simple words,
to build
Change the verb form
building
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 an
office
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 company needs a huge amount of
money
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. working remotely helps to save
this
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money
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that is
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 used in workers' benefits programs like pension healthcare benefits.
Moreover
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, as travelling to the
office
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 daily is removed so the problems like traffic congestion and noise pollution could be reduced.
In addition
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, individuals could use that extra time for the family.
Thus
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 Individuals believe that working from
home
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 is good.
On the other hand
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, there are some merits to working in the
office
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, like individuals can build a bond with their colleagues, which enhances a good
work
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 environment and increases the productivity of companies.
Apart from
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this
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, offices give a particular working environment.
For example
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, at
home
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, you get disturbed by other people and outside noise which could reduce
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
work
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 efficiency.But
this
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 advantage can be added to
work
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 from
home
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 by arranging events and creating an
office
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 space at
home
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.
To sum up
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, despite the disadvantages of remote
work
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 like fewer peer bonds, the advantages of working remotely, like less pollution and saving
money
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, outweigh them.
Thus
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, I believe that we should encourage
work
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-from-
home
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 jobs.

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task response
The essay addresses the question and provides relevant arguments supporting the position taken. It shows a clear understanding of the topic.
task response
There is a need for more specific examples to illustrate the points made. Including real-life examples or statistics could enhance the argument.
coherence cohesion
The essay maintains a logical flow between points and uses paragraphs effectively to separate ideas.
coherence cohesion
Some points could be expanded upon for greater clarity. Ensure each main idea is fully developed and linked back to the main argument.
introduction conclusion
The introduction is clear and states the writer's position effectively.
introduction conclusion
The conclusion summarizes the main points and restates the position, reinforcing the argument.
logical structure
The essay is structured well with clear paragraphing.
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