Some people think that success is the best measure for intelligence, while others think that intelligence can be measured in other ways.

#people #success #measure #intelligence

It is arguable that high achievements are the best way to estimate intellectual

abilites

Correct your spelling

abilities

. I believe that

this

is a wrong method of evaluating intellectual skills, because a number of individuals succeed only

due to

luck,

whereas

some can not get high achievements,

wether

Correct your spelling

whether

show examples

they are particularly clever or not. Here is a couple of arguments to support my point of view. First of all, there are lots of successful people who got extremely lucky

aquiring

Correct your spelling

acquiring

wealth, without even having any intellectual abilities. There might be individuals whose parents are very rich,

therefore

they are provided with fortune. (I have not gotten any real examples

neither

Correct word choice

either

show examples

from my experience

nor

Correct word choice

show examples

from my knowledge).

Secondly

, a large number of people, though possessing high intellectual abilities, did not become successful. The main reason for

this

is the fact that intelligence is not the key factor for success.

For instance

, if a person has a poor social status and a low

economycal

Correct your spelling

economical

economic

base, despite being strong-minded, is not able to achieve great success. (I have not gotten any real examples

neither

Correct word choice

either

show examples

from my experience

nor

Correct word choice

show examples

from my knowledge).

To sum up

, I believe that high achievements

aquired

Correct your spelling

acquired

by individuals are not necessarily caused by their great

mind

Fix the agreement mistake

minds

show examples

, because there are many cases that deny the opposite,

although

intelligence mostly results in success.

Submitted by acaitaz on Wed Dec 27 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

It would be helpful to provide specific examples to support your points. Personal experiences, famous people or studies would strengthen your arguments.

coherence cohesion

Consider using linking words and phrases to make the essay more cohesive. Words such as 'in addition', 'furthermore', and 'since' can help connect ideas more smoothly.

general

Make sure to proofread your work for minor linguistic inaccuracies. Small grammatical errors can take away from the overall clarity of your essay.

coherence cohesion

You have provided a clear introduction and conclusion which frame your argument well.

task achievement

Your ideas are generally clear and easy to understand.

task achievement

The essay addresses the topic and provides a balanced discussion of both sides of the argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

219 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

6.5

Logical structure

6.5

Introduction & conclusion present

5.5

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.5

6.5

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

5.5

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5
band
Some people argue that all experimentation on animals is bad and should be outlawed. However, others believe that important scientific discoveries can be made from animal experiments. Can experimentation on animals be justified? Are there any alternatives?
Some people advocate that using animals for experiments is a behavior that should be prevented. It is undeniable that stoping the use of animals for scientific testing is a commendable behavior that can generate positive outcomes for individuals and society. This behavior manifests social responsibility and humanitarian spirit. It can contribute to the resolution of social problems and the improve of the scientific research environments and the public health. For example, people are no longer limited to bloody scenes when doing scientific experiments. At the same time, This can make those who are afraid harming small animals and enjoy sciences more actively explore. However, we can use advanced electronic technology to simulate experiments, which also can reduce injuries to them. Meanwhile, This will guide people to have more correct values conception and respect for life.
5.5
band
Your English-speaking friend has asked for your help with a college project he/she is doing about celebrating New Year in different countries. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter: say how important New Year is to people in your country describe how New Year is celebrated in your country explain what you like about New Year celebration in your country
Hello, I hope you are doing well. I received your email, and I am writing this letter to help your college project.
7
band
Some health professionals suggest that older people spend more time socializing with others and playing sports to stay healthy, but many retired people have experienced loneliness and a lack of fitness. Why has this happened? What can be done to address this?
Some health experts indicate that elderly people should allocate more time to socialising with their acquaintances and working out to keep fit. However, Individuals who have been retired have suffered from loneliness and are less healthy. Some reasons, such as lack of support from their surroundings and loosening the excitement, might cause this to happen. This essay will examine the issues and propose potential solutions.
4.5
band
In some cultures, children are often told they can achieve anything if they tried hard enough. what are the advantages and the disadvantages of giving children this message?
Many children often correlates putting in the effort with success, which is considered a normal message they receive in several cultures.
4
band
Learning English is important Do you agree or disagree?
Some people think that study English is not necessary owing to English is global language and famous, I personally believe this is vital. While there is some truth to this belief. I would disagree with this point of view for some sound reasons.

Some people think that success is the best measure for intelligence, while others think that intelligence can be measured in other ways.

Fully explain your ideas

Some people argue that all experimentation on animals is bad and should be outlawed. However, others believe that important scientific discoveries can be made from animal experiments. Can experimentation on animals be justified? Are there any alternatives?

Some health professionals suggest that older people spend more time socializing with others and playing sports to stay healthy, but many retired people have experienced loneliness and a lack of fitness. Why has this happened? What can be done to address this?

In some cultures, children are often told they can achieve anything if they tried hard enough. what are the advantages and the disadvantages of giving children this message?

Learning English is important Do you agree or disagree?