Question- A country’s future depends on its young people. Therefore, a country should invest heavily in its youth. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#question- #country’s #future #people #country #youth

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The

youth

of the

nation

determines its future.

Thus

, a country must make significant investments in its

youth

. I agree and believe that

youth

contributes to a

nation

in many fields. Without its

youth

force

Add a comma

force,

show examples

a country will become incompetent. One of the fields where a

nation

youth

play a major role is

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

armed

Correct article usage

the armed

show examples

force

Fix the agreement mistake

forces

show examples

. Without a strong armed

force

Add a comma

force,

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a country cannot build strong

self defence

Add a hyphen

self-defence

show examples

, law and order.

Secondly

, youngsters are required to participate in

world

games. Without healthy youngsters, a

nation

cannot make its mark on the

world

in sports.

For example

australia

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Australia

show examples

has

world class

Add a hyphen

world-class

show examples

sportsmen as they encourage and provide

world class

Add a hyphen

world-class

show examples

infrastructure to children from a very young age. The economy of the

nation

is dependent on

todays

Change to a genitive case

today's

show examples

youth

Todays

Fix the agreement mistake

Today

show examples

youth

will become

tomorrows

Change noun form

tomorrow's

show examples

skilled workforce that can drive innovation and economic growth.

Government

Correct article usage

The government

show examples

can conduct

youth

programs and initiatives,

invest

Correct word choice

and invest

show examples

in better infrastructure for schools and colleges. As per a study, china is spending 70

percent

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per cent

show examples

of its budget on young individuals. They have increased

the

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their

show examples

investments in their medical research field, making them one of the leading countries in

healthcare

Add an article

the healthcare

show examples

industry.

Hence

, it is of utmost importance that a

nation

invests in its young

indivual

Correct your spelling

individual

today for its better growth in various perspectives in future.

Submitted by sai.shruti17.d on Wed Dec 27 2023

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Coherence Cohesion

For Coherence and Cohesion: Your essay shows some organization, but the logical sequencing of ideas can be improved. Aim to provide clearer topic sentences and use a wider range of linking devices to enhance the flow between ideas. Additionally, ensure that your paragraphs are well-developed and that each contains one main idea that is expanded upon with sufficient detail.

Task Achievement

For Task Achievement: Your essay responds to the task, providing a clear position in agreement with the statement. However, to achieve a higher score, expand your argument with a more in-depth analysis and development of each point. Include a wider range of examples to substantiate your claims, and consider discussing potential counterarguments to present a more nuanced perspective.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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4
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
18
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

213 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Innovative potential
Skilled workforce
Socioeconomic development
Civic engagement
Demographic neglect
Intergenerational equity
Sustainable investment
Youth empowerment
Long-term benefits
Public health initiatives

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Question- A country’s future depends on its young people. Therefore, a country should invest heavily in its youth. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Fully explain your ideas

Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmes. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

More and more people are relying on the private car as their major means of transportation. Describe some of the problems over-reliance on cars can cause, and suggest at least one possible solution.

Some people think that secondary or highschool student should be taught how to use money management as it is an important lifeskill. Do you agree or disagree with the statement?