Writing Task 2 People eat more processed food now than in the past. Task 1: what is the reason behind this? Task 2: what effects might people have by this?
It is true that today
people
tend to eat more processed food
compared to old times. Different from many years ago people
are likely to buy ready meals. There are a number of reasons and effect
of Fix the agreement mistake
effects
this
phenomenon and I will discuss them in this
essay.
One of the main reason
why Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
people
prefer processed food
is that busy life style
do not leave extra Correct your spelling
lifestyles
time
for them to prepare and cook food
at home. For example
, if someone works ten hours everyday
, he or she will not be able to find enough Replace the word
every day
time
for preparing dinner. Thus
, in order to eat something they have to buy ready meals from supermarkets or order eat
. Another reason Fix the infinitive
to eat
lies under
Verb problem
for
this
tendency for this
generation is the lack of cooking knowledge. Not only do they lack ability
to cook but Change the article
the ability
also
they have insufficient information about nutritious ingredients. That is
why individuals prefer fast food
, whish
is the easiest way, rather than cooking it.
Correct your spelling
which
Although
life conditions does
not leave Change the verb form
do
people
other
options Change preposition
with other
about
eating habits, Change preposition
for
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
brought
and will have many side effects on folks. Wrong verb form
bring
Firstly
, our body
will not be as resilient as our ancestors Fix the agreement mistake
bodies
due to
the ingredients added to processed food
. What I mean is that since our ancestors used to it mainly natural food
which are free of chemicals their immunity system Fix the agreement mistake
foods
were
much stronger as Correct subject-verb agreement
was
oppsed
to ours. Correct your spelling
opposed
Moreover
, our body
will become more addicted to ready-made Fix the agreement mistake
bodies
food
as it is believed that companies which produce them add some addictive elements so that they sell their products for a long time
. This
means that we will become dependent on those
Change the determiner
that food
food
for a long time
.
Taking everything into account, it could be concluded that busy
Correct article usage
a busy
life style
and lack of cooking knowledge are the main reasons for choosing ready meals. Correct your spelling
lifestyle
Also
, this
tendency will cause people
to have less healthy body
and become addicted to processed Fix the agreement mistake
bodies
food
.Submitted by aydinaliyew on
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task achievement
While your essay does address parts of both tasks, it could be enhanced by providing more specific examples to support your claims. This would not only improve the relevance of the points made but also ensure that the response is fully developed in line with the task requirements. Consider adding real-world instances or statistical data to back up your reasoning about the increased consumption of processed foods and its consequences.
coherence cohesion
Your essay generally presents ideas in a logical manner and includes an introduction and a conclusion, which is good. However, to improve coherence, transitions between ideas could be smoother and more varied. Consider employing a wider range of cohesive devices beyond 'Firstly' and 'Moreover' to aid the reader in following your argument. Additionally, work on paragraph structuring to avoid overly long sentences and ensure each paragraph has one clear main idea.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example