Writing Task 2 People eat more processed food now than in the past. Task 1: what is the reason behind this? Task 2: what effects might people have by this?
It is true that today
people
tend to eat more processed Use synonyms
food
compared to old times. Different from many years ago Use synonyms
people
are likely to buy ready meals. There are a number of reasons and Use synonyms
effect
of Fix the agreement mistake
effects
this
phenomenon and I will discuss them in Linking Words
this
essay.
One of the main Linking Words
reason
why Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
people
prefer processed Use synonyms
food
is that busy Use synonyms
life style
do not leave extra Correct your spelling
lifestyles
time
for them to prepare and cook Use synonyms
food
at home. Use synonyms
For example
, if someone works ten hours Linking Words
everyday
, he or she will not be able to find enough Replace the word
every day
time
for preparing dinner. Use synonyms
Thus
, in order to eat something they have to buy ready meals from supermarkets or order Linking Words
eat
. Another reason Fix the infinitive
to eat
lies under
Verb problem
for
this
tendency for Linking Words
this
generation is the lack of cooking knowledge. Not only do they lack Linking Words
ability
to cook but Change the article
the ability
also
they have insufficient information about nutritious ingredients. Linking Words
That is
why individuals prefer fast Linking Words
food
, Use synonyms
whish
is the easiest way, rather than cooking it.
Correct your spelling
which
Although
life conditions Linking Words
does
not leave Change the verb form
do
people
Use synonyms
other
options Change preposition
with other
about
eating habits, Change preposition
for
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
brought
and will have many side effects on folks. Wrong verb form
bring
Firstly
, our Linking Words
body
will not be as resilient as our ancestors Fix the agreement mistake
bodies
due to
the ingredients added to processed Linking Words
food
. What I mean is that since our ancestors used to it mainly natural Use synonyms
Use synonyms
food
which are free of chemicals their immunity system Fix the agreement mistake
foods
were
much stronger as Correct subject-verb agreement
was
oppsed
to ours. Correct your spelling
opposed
Moreover
, our Linking Words
body
will become more addicted to ready-made Fix the agreement mistake
bodies
food
as it is believed that companies which produce them add some addictive elements so that they sell their products for a long Use synonyms
time
. Use synonyms
This
means that we will become dependent on Linking Words
those
Change the determiner
that food
food
for a long Use synonyms
time
.
Taking everything into account, it could be concluded that Use synonyms
busy
Correct article usage
a busy
life style
and lack of cooking knowledge are the main reasons for choosing ready meals. Correct your spelling
lifestyle
Also
, Linking Words
this
tendency will cause Linking Words
people
to have less healthy Use synonyms
body
and become addicted to processed Fix the agreement mistake
bodies
food
.Use synonyms
Submitted by aydinaliyew on
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task achievement
While your essay does address parts of both tasks, it could be enhanced by providing more specific examples to support your claims. This would not only improve the relevance of the points made but also ensure that the response is fully developed in line with the task requirements. Consider adding real-world instances or statistical data to back up your reasoning about the increased consumption of processed foods and its consequences.
coherence cohesion
Your essay generally presents ideas in a logical manner and includes an introduction and a conclusion, which is good. However, to improve coherence, transitions between ideas could be smoother and more varied. Consider employing a wider range of cohesive devices beyond 'Firstly' and 'Moreover' to aid the reader in following your argument. Additionally, work on paragraph structuring to avoid overly long sentences and ensure each paragraph has one clear main idea.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example