Some countries achieve international sports by building specialised facilities to train top athletes, instead of providing sports facilities that everyone can use. Do you think this is positive or negative development?
It is common knowledge that being a professional athlete requires consistency in
practicing
. Change the spelling
practising
As
an effort to support their Change preposition
In
athletes
, so
me countries build certain sports centres which are specialized only for professional athletes
. In this
matter, I strongly believe that providing these facilities
brings more benefits compared to the negatives.
To begin
with, there are several advantages of building facilities
that are strictly for athletes
' use
. Firstly
, it gives more flexibility for the athletes
to set their practice
schedule since no outsider will use
the facilities
. Subsequently
, they can have more time to practise and improve their skills. In addition
, the use
of an exclusive building lets athletes
focus more on their practice
because their fans will have no access to the facilities
.
Albeit the positives, using an exclusive building also
brings some problems. One drawback is that the managers and coaches will have less chance to meet new talents in the field. As an illustration, non-professional players will not use
the facilities
to play while
the managers and coaches will spend most of their time in the facilities
. Consequently
, the possibility for them to meet during practice
is reduced. Another shortcoming is that the government will spend more money on the asset. The expenses are not only used when they build it from scratch but also
the maintenance of the facilities
.
In conclusion, despite the negatives such
as giving less possibility to prospect new athletes
and gaining more expense, building exclusively facilities
for athletes
is more important for the country. The importance is due to
the development of the athletes
' skills as their practice
schedule and focus will not be distracted.Submitted by misstiasclassroom on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
The essay addresses the question and provides a clear position, but it should include more specific examples to support the main points. For Task Achievement, try to incorporate relevant instances or studies to illustrate the arguments better.
coherence cohesion
The overall logical structure is acceptable, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. However, the connection between ideas could be strengthened by more effectively using linking words and cohesive devices.
coherence cohesion
While the essay has an introduction and a conclusion, which contributes to its coherence, they could be expanded with a clearer thesis statement in the introduction and a more comprehensive summarization that reiterates your stance in the conclusion.
coherence cohesion
To improve Supported Main Points, ensure each paragraph contains a clear topic sentence, adequate supporting sentences, and a concluding sentence that reinforces the paragraph's main idea.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.