Beside a lot of advantages, some people believe that internet create many problems. To what extent you agree or disagree?

#people #internet

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Using internet

facillities

Correct your spelling

facilities

become an inevitable part of human lives in the modern world. Despite

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the positive effects, still most of

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

people

Use synonyms

concern

Change the form of the verb

concerned

show examples

about the disadvantages of web usage. I

agree

Add the preposition

agree on

agree to

agree with

show examples

the view and will explain the reasons behind my opinion in

this

Linking Words

essay.

Firstly

Linking Words

, students experience academic

drowbacks

Correct your spelling

drawbacks

due to

Linking Words

focusing

various

Change preposition

on various

show examples

kinds of activities

Change preposition

apply

show examples

online rather than studying.

In other words

Linking Words

, young

people

Use synonyms

using

Wrong verb form

use

show examples

internet

Add an article

the internet

show examples

Change preposition

show examples

prolong

Change the form of the verb

prolonged

show examples

basis and eventually they become addicted to it which will harm

Change preposition

apply

show examples

their educational improvements

as well as

Linking Words

their health.

For instance

Linking Words

, varieties of social

medias

Correct your spelling

media

show examples

and online gaming are emerging today where students spend their valuable time

Change preposition

apply

show examples

scrolling

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

Therefore

Linking Words

, they are not only wasting

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

time but

also

Linking Words

deviating

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

attention

Change preposition

from

show examples

educational goals.

Secondly

Linking Words

, some

people

Use synonyms

highly trust the trend of

online-shopping

Correct your spelling

online shopping

show examples

and spend their money to buy the

products

Use synonyms

without analysing the quality of it.

That is

Linking Words

to say, either many fake online shops

recieve

Correct your spelling

receive

money without delivering the

products

Use synonyms

to buyers or

selling

Wrong verb form

sell

show examples

low quality

Add a hyphen

low-quality

show examples

items in a fixed price range.

For

Linking Words

example

Add a comma

example,

show examples

if a person

buy

Change the verb form

buys

show examples

a dress from

online-shopping

Correct your spelling

online shopping

show examples

, probably that person

get

Correct subject-verb agreement

gets

show examples

different

Add an article

a different

show examples

colour or material dress other than the viewed one

through

Change preposition

show examples

the website. So

people

Use synonyms

have to be aware

Change preposition

show examples

the trusted

products

Use synonyms

which we can buy

from

Change preposition

show examples

online

Correct article usage

an online

show examples

basis.

To conclude

Linking Words

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

this

Linking Words

, even though enhanced internet services make our life easier, many students and other

people

Use synonyms

are facing issues

due to

Linking Words

low focus on studies, unreliability of

products

Use synonyms

and wasting money

for

Change preposition

show examples

it.

Submitted by gaya002.nesa on Wed Dec 27 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion

Ensure logical structure and clear paragraphing. Each paragraph should contain a clear main idea and supporting sentences.

coherence cohesion

An introduction and conclusion are present but could be developed further to better encapsulate the essay's argument and summarise the key points.

coherence cohesion

Main points are supported, but they need to be more fully developed and explained to strengthen the argument.

task achievement

The response fulfills the task, but the argument could be expanded on with further explanation and a wider range of vocabulary.

task achievement

The ideas presented could be clearer and more comprehensive, employing a wider range of structures and vocabulary for a stronger argument.

task achievement

Relevant examples are used, but they could be expanded upon with more detail and a deeper analysis to enhance clarity and relevance.

12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
34
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

258 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

E-commerce
Consumer behavior
Virtual marketplace
Cybersecurity
Digital footprint
Return policy
Comparison shopping
Customer reviews
Retail therapy
Logistics
User interface
Payment gateway

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7
band
Immigration has a major impact on the society. What are the main reasons of immigration? To what consequences can it lead?
It is often thought that immigration has a major impact on society. The impacts of that statement can both result in people’s agreement and disagreement. Some people believe that moving from places can bring you new experiences, such as new work experience, social life, and lots of other reasons. This essay will list why people choose to migrate from their current environment to another and its consequences.
5
band
Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagreee. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
It is common that personal particulars could be collected by the time of job applications, including the hobbies and interests as well as the marriage status. Someone argued that the questions are irrelevant to the jobs while others might think they could be meaningful for some reasons. Personally, I think these information are crucial as the perception as the member in the recruitment team of a company. In the following passage, ideas from both sides would be analysed.
6
band
Mental health concerns are a growing issue for many people around the world. What are some reasons for poor mental health, and what can governments do to support citizens' mental health?
The world is now witnessing a mental health epidemic as there are growing concerns related to the number of people experiencing mental health complications. Reasons for this increase include but are not limited to intensive economic competition, sleep deprivation, and social media usage. As for solutions, I believe governments should focus on enhancing the country's economic position and introduce other necessary policies, such as banning social media in certain establishments.
5
band
There is a public park near where you live. You have heard that the local council wants to sell this park. Write a letter to a local newspaper in you letter. Introduce yourself Describe the importance of the park Say what action you will take if the council continues with its plan
The reason why I am addressing you is that I think important for several items of the park.
5.5
band
Children spend a lot of time watching TV and playing computer game, however it does not help in improving their mental abilities. Do you agree or disagree?
Watching TV and playing computer games is essential for children. Since watching TV series and playing computer games is enjoyable. Nevertheless, these activities have disadvantages. To illustrate failure, laziness unease etc. Therefore children should less TV and play computer games. Seeing that this activity causes too many health problems and a bad life.

Beside a lot of advantages, some people believe that internet create many problems. To what extent you agree or disagree?

Immigration has a major impact on the society. What are the main reasons of immigration? To what consequences can it lead?

Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagreee. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Mental health concerns are a growing issue for many people around the world. What are some reasons for poor mental health, and what can governments do to support citizens' mental health?

There is a public park near where you live. You have heard that the local council wants to sell this park. Write a letter to a local newspaper in you letter. Introduce yourself Describe the importance of the park Say what action you will take if the council continues with its plan

Children spend a lot of time watching TV and playing computer game, however it does not help in improving their mental abilities. Do you agree or disagree?