Government investment in the arts, such as music and theater, is a waste of money. Governments must invest this money in public services instead. To what extent do you agree with this statement?
Some believe that
instead
of spending money
on the arts, government authorities should invest their funds in developing public services. I completely disagree with the aforementioned statement since preserving and promoting art
is equally crucial as investing in basic public services for certain reasons.
Firstly
, engaging in creative work should not be considered squandering money
on frivolous things. These activities have been part of human nature since ancient times when our ancestors used them as a way of expressing themselves and their feelings. It cannot be denied the therapeutic effects of works of art
on people
's mental health. It can be considered one of the most effective methods to relax, because, people
get an opportunity to distract themselves from the stressful environment they live in and delve deep into the art
. For example
, listening to music is the most rudimentary need of humans, since it assists them to unwind and restore their energies. In addition
, by encouraging individuals to improve their creative skills and abilities, governments can discover new talents who can present their countries on an international level and attract more tourists' attention. Hence
, the country gradually turns into a source of art
and inspiration that many people
strive to visit.
Secondly
, by releasing some portions of funds to the field of art
, authorities can earn a lot of money
and reputation as well. There are so many countries in the world that are renowned for hosting the
masterpieces Correct article usage
apply
such
as "The Mona Lisa", "The Starry Night", and so on. These factors help those countries foster their economic conditions as well, by encouraging many people
to visit and spend money
on services. In addition
, tourists do not hesitate to splash out money
on expensive pieces in order to have a long-lasting memory of that place. Furthermore
, the torrent of travelers
stimulates locals to improve the provided service levels and erect new buildings Change the spelling
travellers
such
as hotels, and shopping malls to meet the requests of tourists. This
tendency will be beneficial for the local population as well since it creates more job opportunities.
To conclude
, although
some people
consider works of art
as frivolous items to spend money
on, I believe that governments should allocate some funds to protect and encourage artists to engage in those activities since they can be a cure for mental health and bring a lot of money
to the country.Submitted by Dinare Abdullayeva on
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coherence cohesion
For an even higher score, consider varying the sentence structures and vocabulary choices to enhance the essay's overall sophistication. Additionally, ensure that every point is elaborated clearly and linked smoothly to the next to maintain coherence.
task achievement
While the essay is largely free of grammatical errors, pay attention to small inaccuracies such as the use of definite and indefinite articles, and the agreement of subjects with verbs. These can affect clarity and overall fluency.
coherence cohesion
The essay is well-structured with a clear introduction and conclusion. Each paragraph has a distinct main idea and flows logically from one to the next, contributing to overall coherence.
task achievement
The task response is strong; the essay fully answers the question and provides a comprehensive discussion. Specific and relevant examples are used effectively to support the main points.
Word Count
IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.
A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.
Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.