Government investment in the arts, such as music and theater, is a waste of money. Governments must invest this money in public services instead. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Some believe that
instead
Linking Words
of spending
money
Use synonyms
on the arts, government authorities should invest their funds in developing public services. I completely disagree with the aforementioned statement since preserving and promoting
art
Use synonyms
is equally crucial as investing in basic public services for certain reasons.
Firstly
Linking Words
, engaging in creative work should not be considered squandering
money
Use synonyms
on frivolous things. These activities have been part of human nature since ancient times when our ancestors used them as a way of expressing themselves and their feelings. It cannot be denied the therapeutic effects of works of
art
Use synonyms
on
people
Use synonyms
's mental health. It can be considered one of the most effective methods to relax, because,
people
Use synonyms
get an opportunity to distract themselves from the stressful environment they live in and delve deep into the
art
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, listening to music is the most rudimentary need of humans, since it assists them to unwind and restore their energies.
In addition
Linking Words
, by encouraging individuals to improve their creative skills and abilities, governments can discover new talents who can present their countries on an international level and attract more tourists' attention.
Hence
Linking Words
, the country gradually turns into a source of
art
Use synonyms
and inspiration that many
people
Use synonyms
strive to visit.
Secondly
Linking Words
, by releasing some portions of funds to the field of
art
Use synonyms
, authorities can earn a lot of
money
Use synonyms
and reputation as well. There are so many countries in the world that are renowned for hosting
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
masterpieces
such
Linking Words
as "The Mona Lisa", "The Starry Night", and so on. These factors help those countries foster their economic conditions as well, by encouraging many
people
Use synonyms
to visit and spend
money
Use synonyms
on services.
In addition
Linking Words
, tourists do not hesitate to splash out
money
Use synonyms
on expensive pieces in order to have a long-lasting memory of that place.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the torrent of
travelers
Change the spelling
travellers
show examples
stimulates locals to improve the provided service levels and erect new buildings
such
Linking Words
as hotels, and shopping malls to meet the requests of tourists.
This
Linking Words
tendency will be beneficial for the local population as well since it creates more job opportunities.
To conclude
Linking Words
,
although
Linking Words
some
people
Use synonyms
consider works of
art
Use synonyms
as frivolous items to spend
money
Use synonyms
on, I believe that governments should allocate some funds to protect and encourage artists to engage in those activities since they can be a cure for mental health and bring a lot of
money
Use synonyms
to the country.
Submitted by Narmin on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
For an even higher score, consider varying the sentence structures and vocabulary choices to enhance the essay's overall sophistication. Additionally, ensure that every point is elaborated clearly and linked smoothly to the next to maintain coherence.
task achievement
While the essay is largely free of grammatical errors, pay attention to small inaccuracies such as the use of definite and indefinite articles, and the agreement of subjects with verbs. These can affect clarity and overall fluency.
coherence cohesion
The essay is well-structured with a clear introduction and conclusion. Each paragraph has a distinct main idea and flows logically from one to the next, contributing to overall coherence.
task achievement
The task response is strong; the essay fully answers the question and provides a comprehensive discussion. Specific and relevant examples are used effectively to support the main points.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: