IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows local expenditure in 2010 and 2015.

The chart below shows local expenditure in 2010 and 2015.
The
given
Verb problem
apply
show examples
pie charts illustrate
expenditures
Correct article usage
the expenditures
show examples
 of the government in nine different areas in 2010 and 2015. It is clearly evident that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
education and health care were the
mostimportant
Correct your spelling
most important
 section in 2010 with 24 and 21
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
, but
this
Linking Words
 proportion
slighly
Correct your spelling
slightly
 decreased after
five
Use synonyms
 years to 21 and 20, respectively. After those, we observe pensions in the third grade with
19
Correct article usage
a 19
show examples
 ratio which
was
Verb problem
has
show examples
 not changed over time.
Furture
Correct your spelling
Further
Future
, it seems that the defence
allocate
Wrong verb form
allocated
show examples
 an approximate huge bulk of expenses with 17
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 in 2010,
however
Linking Words
, it experienced a moderate fall after
five
Use synonyms
 years to 14.
Additionally
Linking Words
, allegedly, the government
instead
Linking Words
 of defence focused on welfare
after
Change preposition
over
show examples
 time and its budget increased from 8 to 13
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
. What's more, interest on borrowing
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
also
Linking Words
growth
Replace the word
grew
show examples
 from
five
Use synonyms
 to 10 proportion.
Linking Words
Last
Add a comma
Last,
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 but not least, there are some other branches, too;
such
Linking Words
 as transport, culture and leisure which enjoys from
five
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 in total, but during the next
five
Use synonyms
 years declined to merely three
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 wholly.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is crystal clear that the government concentrates over time on
welfare
Add an article
the welfare
show examples
 of society and interest
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 borrowing more than other
parts
Correct your spelling
parties
show examples
.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words percent, five with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fifth paragraph.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Expenditure
  • Categories
  • Trends
  • Demographics
  • Economic factors
  • Cultural factors
  • Digital services
  • E-commerce
  • Inflation rates
  • Unemployment levels
  • GDP growth
  • Consumer confidence
  • Spending habits
  • Healthcare
  • Entertainment
  • Housing
  • Food
  • Transportation
  • Education
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