Some people think that employers should not care about the way their employees dress, because what matters is the quality of their work. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays, some
people
think that
employers
should not
care
about the
way
their
employees
dress
, because what matters is the quality of their work. But in my opinion, I think
employers
should
care
about the
way
their
employees
dress
. There are several reasons why
people
think
employers
should not
care
about the
way
their
employees
dress
.
First,
employees
will feel happy when wearing the
clothes
they like.
Employees
will feel happy to
dress
the
way
they like because wearing what they feel comfortable with will make them feel happy, which affects the quality of their work.
For example
, some companies will have a rule that women
employees
should wear high heels. Wearing high heels will make them feel uncomfortable, which will affect their emotions about working. In my opinion, I think
employers
should
care
about the
way
their
employees
dress
.
First,
wearing formal
clothes
will make customers trust the company. Customers will trust the company by
employees
Wrong verb form
wearing
show examples
wear
Wrong verb form
wearing
show examples
formal
clothes
because
employees
wearing formal
clothes
will let the customers feel like they are respected for their job and will make them look more professional.
Second,
employees
wearing what they want will make
people
happy.
For example
, women
employees
wearing
clothes
that are too exposed will make
people
misunderstand that they are hostesses. So
employers
must
care
about the
way
their
employees
dress
. In conclusion,
although
some
people
think that
employers
should not
care
about the
way
their
employees
dress
, I still think
employers
should
care
about the
way
their
employees
dress
.
Submitted by vickychen941008 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Coherence & Cohesion
You should work on enhancing the logical structure of your essay. This can be achieved by ensuring smoother transitions between sentences and paragraphs, which helps in building a more coherent argument.
Coherence & Cohesion
Introducing a clear introduction and conclusion can significantly improve your essay. The introduction should outline your viewpoint clearly, and the conclusion should summarize your main points effectively.
Coherence & Cohesion
Support your main points with more relevant examples and explanations. This not only strengthens your argument but also adds depth to your essay.
Task Achievement
To achieve a complete response to the task, ensure that you fully address all parts of the task. This includes discussing both sides of the argument if the question requires it and clearly stating your own opinion.
Task Achievement
Focus on presenting clear and comprehensive ideas throughout your essay. Each paragraph should discuss a single main idea or point, and this idea should be explicitly stated in the topic sentence of the paragraph.
Task Achievement
Incorporate more relevant and specific examples to support your arguments. These examples can be from real-life situations, studies, or hypothetical scenarios that are directly related to the prompt and your argument.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • dress code
  • professional attire
  • workplace culture
  • productivity
  • branding
  • perception
  • creativity
  • equality
  • bias
  • discrimination
  • first impressions
  • freedom of expression
  • quality of work
  • skill set
  • professionalism
  • comfort
  • clientele
  • stakeholders
  • competence
  • formal attire
What to do next:
Look at other essays: