Some people think that schools should reward students with the best academic results, while others believe it is more important to reward students who show improvements. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Schools have always tried to incentivize their
students
to study harder. This
can be achieved by rewarding students
who excel in their studies. I believe that those who make progress should also
be rewarded.
Admittedly, there are justifiable reasons to believe that elite students
should be rewarded exclusively. Chief of these is that since they have diligently applied themselves to their studies, they deserve the praises and privileges. This
may encourage these students
and others to study harder to win the rewards, propelling overall
academic gains. Added to this
is the fact that this
kind of competition is seen in almost every aspect of life where only the best individuals are rewarded. If students
are used to this
reality and thrive in the face of fierce competition, this
will enable them to achieve success in later life.
However
, there are more compelling reasons to say that schools should also
reward students
who show improvements. The key reason is that only a few smart students
can come first and receive the rewards. This
unequivocally causes others to think that their effort is to no avail because they cannot surpass those outstanding individuals. As a result
, they are prone to feeling overwhelmed and disheartened and gradually lose the incentive to study. Furthermore
, emphasizing improvement not only encourages all students
to be diligent in their studies,
but Remove the comma
apply
also
helps students
understand that they need to constantly improve themselves, irrespective of how well they have been or are performing. The constant desire to outdo themselves surely benefits them more than the competitive determination to win against all others
In conclusion, even though it is arguably just to reward top students
exclusively, schools should do this
in tandem with rewarding those who show signs of improvement. This
way, every student, those with their best performance included, to motivated to exert themselves harder.Submitted by lenam2k1 on
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task achievement
In future essays, consider balancing your arguments a bit more. The first argument about rewarding top students could be expanded and strengthened.
clear comprehensive ideas
Try to enhance the clarity of your ideas by occasionally using topic sentences to introduce the main point of each paragraph.
coherence cohesion
While your ideas are interconnected effectively, consider using more transitional phrases to further strengthen the connections between your points.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction and conclusion were clearly defined and effectively framed your arguments.
supported main points
Your main points were well-supported, making your arguments compelling and persuasive.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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