Professional sports persons are often idolized by the youth. Some people think that they, therefore, have a responsibility to be role models at all times for children. Do you agree or disagree?

#sports #persons #youth #people #responsibility #role #models #times #children

The younger generation commonly considers professional

sports

players as their idols. Many individuals assert that

this

idolization brings these well-known

people

some responsibilities. In my opinion,

sports

people

should feel responsible for their

fans

Moreover

, they must be careful about their actions as they may affect their

fans

in a positive or negative manner.

Firstly

, a lot of children have a tendency to be famous and successful

sports

players in their teenage.

Accordingly

, they try to copy the most well-known and top champions in their desired fields.

For instance

, a pupil, who is enthusiastic to be a booming football player, finds Christiano Ronaldo or Leonel Messi as his role models and tries to resemble their professional and personal lives.

Thereupon

this

idolization would mislead these infants if these famous

people

had corruption.

Secondly

, these famous

people

must beware and be cautious as their

fans

, mostly teenagers and the youth, could be affected by their deeds both negatively and positively. Lots of pupils who imagine a future like that of their idolized person would experience disillusionment if their favourite

sports

players committed something wrong even after the end of their professional lives.

For example

, Diego Maradona, an Argentinian football legend, has always been worshipped

due to

his memorable achievements in football.

Nevertheless

, he was remarkably criticized because of his addiction to Cocaine.

This

also

brought his

fans

a substantial amount of disappointment as he has always been an idol both nationally and internationally. In conclusion, many youths and teenagers idolize

sports

people

as they are interested in making the same life as theirs, and these idolized

people

are

also

responsible at all times as they are imitated by those young generations.

Submitted by mojgan.sobhani on Thu Mar 21 2024

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Task Achievement

Expand upon the introduction by clearly stating your stance on the topic right away to ensure readers understand your position from the start.

Task Achievement

Include more varied examples of professional sportspeople and their influence, as this strengthens the argument and provides more comprehensive support to your points.

Coherence and Cohesion

Enhance your essay's structure by incorporating clear transitions between paragraphs to ensure a smoother flow of ideas.

Coherence and Cohesion

Make sure your conclusion succinctly summarizes the main points of the essay while reinforcing your stance, adding a more powerful ending to your argument.

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

280 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Professional sports persons are often idolized by the youth. Some people think that they, therefore, have a responsibility to be role models at all times for children. Do you agree or disagree?

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Many people say that human society has developed into a throw-away society, which is filled with plastic bags and rubbish. What are the causes and solutions?

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Many people assume that the goal of every country should be to produce more materials and goods. To what extent do you agree or disagree that constantly increasing production is an appropriate goal? You should write at least 250 words

Difference between countries are becoming less evident.Nowadays,people are watching the same films,fashion,brands,TV channels.This is a disadvantage or advantage?