Professional sports persons are often idolized by the youth. Some people think that they, therefore, have a responsibility to be role models at all times for children. Do you agree or disagree?

#sports #persons #youth #people #responsibility #role #models #times #children

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The younger generation commonly considers professional

sports

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players as their idols. Many individuals assert that

this

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idolization brings these well-known

people

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some responsibilities. In my opinion,

sports

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people

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should feel responsible for their

fans

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Moreover

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, they must be careful about their actions as they may affect their

fans

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in a positive or negative manner.

Firstly

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, a lot of children have a tendency to be famous and successful

sports

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players in their teenage.

Accordingly

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, they try to copy the most well-known and top champions in their desired fields.

For instance

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, a pupil, who is enthusiastic to be a booming football player, finds Christiano Ronaldo or Leonel Messi as his role models and tries to resemble their professional and personal lives.

Thereupon

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this

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idolization would mislead these infants if these famous

people

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had corruption.

Secondly

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, these famous

people

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must beware and be cautious as their

fans

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, mostly teenagers and the youth, could be affected by their deeds both negatively and positively. Lots of pupils who imagine a future like that of their idolized person would experience disillusionment if their favourite

sports

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players committed something wrong even after the end of their professional lives.

For example

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, Diego Maradona, an Argentinian football legend, has always been worshipped

due to

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his memorable achievements in football.

Nevertheless

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, he was remarkably criticized because of his addiction to Cocaine.

This

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also

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brought his

fans

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a substantial amount of disappointment as he has always been an idol both nationally and internationally. In conclusion, many youths and teenagers idolize

sports

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people

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as they are interested in making the same life as theirs, and these idolized

people

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are

also

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responsible at all times as they are imitated by those young generations.

Submitted by mojgan.sobhani on Thu Mar 21 2024

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Task Achievement

Expand upon the introduction by clearly stating your stance on the topic right away to ensure readers understand your position from the start.

Task Achievement

Include more varied examples of professional sportspeople and their influence, as this strengthens the argument and provides more comprehensive support to your points.

Coherence and Cohesion

Enhance your essay's structure by incorporating clear transitions between paragraphs to ensure a smoother flow of ideas.

Coherence and Cohesion

Make sure your conclusion succinctly summarizes the main points of the essay while reinforcing your stance, adding a more powerful ending to your argument.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

280 words

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Professional sports persons are often idolized by the youth. Some people think that they, therefore, have a responsibility to be role models at all times for children. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people say that the only way to get success is to go to universities while others think that it depends on other factors. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

some people said professionals such as doctors or engineers should be required to work in the country where they did their training while other said they should be free to work in another country

Wild animals have no place in the 21st century, so protecting them is a waste of resources. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The large amount of time and money that is spent on conserving wildlife would be better spent on improving the lives of humans. To what extent do you agree or disagree