The charts below give information about attendance at entertainment venues and admission prices to those venues in 2009.

#information #attendance #entertainment #venues #admission #prices

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

The chart given illustrates entertainment

venues

Change the noun form

venue

show examples

attendees in 2009, which

categorized

Add a missing verb

is categorized

show examples

by: sports, theme parks, and cinemas. Units measured by thousands. Generally speaking, the most popular entertainment venue was cinemas, which

Verb problem

had

show examples

more than 1,000,000 attendees.

However

sport

Change the noun form

sports

show examples

venues

had the least

visitor

Fix the agreement mistake

visitors

show examples

among

three

Correct article usage

the three

show examples

venues

at approximately 170,000 visitors.

Furthermore

, theme parks

are

Wrong verb form

were

show examples

visited by about 380,000 people in 2009.

Moreover

, the table presents the

ticket

price

Fix the agreement mistake

prices

show examples

for some events that

held

Add a missing verb

are held

show examples

in entertainment

venues

. As is presented, the most expensive

ticket

is for events that

held

Add a missing verb

are held

show examples

in sports

venue

Fix the agreement mistake

venues

show examples

. Football Game - AFL,

for instance

, the

ticket

price was 75

dollars

for one

ticket

and 298

dollars

for

family

Correct article usage

a family

show examples

consist

Wrong verb form

consisting of

show examples

four members.

While

football

games

Fix the agreement mistake

game tickets

show examples

ticket

was

Correct subject-verb agreement

were

show examples

the most expensive of them all, cinema

ticket

Fix the agreement mistake

tickets

show examples

was

Correct subject-verb agreement

were

show examples

the cheapest, which

Wrong verb form

was

show examples

only 15

dollars

per

ticket

or you

can

Wrong verb form

could

show examples

get

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

dollars

for four.

On the other hand

, theme

parks

Change the noun form

park

show examples

tickets were

Change preposition

show examples

the

Correct article usage

show examples

moderate level, which is 70

dollars

for one and 135

dollars

for

family

Correct article usage

a family

show examples

. It can be concluded cinema was the most attended venue

also

Correct word choice

and also

show examples

the cheapest

ticket

in 2009.

Submitted by writingielts0 on Wed Dec 27 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words venues, ticket, dollars with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "give" in your introduction.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "presents" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.

▼

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
25
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

3 paragraphs

185 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

attendance
entertainment venues
admission prices
visitors
comparison
percentage
revenue
cost-effective
correlation
trends
marketing strategies
fluctuations
cultural events
accessibility
demographics
peak season
off-peak
consumer behavior
pricing strategy
profit margin

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5
band
Some people think that all university students should study whatever they like. Others believe that they should only be allowed to study subjects that will be useful in the future, such as those related to science and technology. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Many people have the opinion that students of tertiary institution should choose their field based on personal preference, whilst others argue that they should rather be encouraged to take up courses that would have more future benefits. In as much as it is easier and more fulfilling being in ones desired discipline, it is of greater good to consider the possibility of a job opportunity on the long run.
7
band
Some people believe that governments should ban dangerous sports even though others claim they should have the freedom to choose a sport to their liking. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give specific reasons and examples to support your opinion
The debate over whether governments should ban dangerous sports is a complex one, touching on issues of personal freedom, public health, and societal responsibility. While I understand the arguments for protecting individuals from harm, I believe that people should generally have the freedom to choose their sports, even if they are dangerous. My stance is based on three main points: personal autonomy, the value of risk in personal growth, and the effectiveness of regulation versus prohibition.
4.5
band
In many countries children are engaged in some kind of paid work. Some people regard this as completely wrong, while others consider it as valuable work experience, important for learning and taking responsibility. What are your opinion on this?
in some countries , young people can work and recieved their salary. and some people agrue that wrong , while others cosider it as vital work experience for leaning and taking responsibility. i completely agree with this statement that children has started work early there are more experience and learning understanding of financial in their future. However, it may also negatively effect their childhood. i will explain in this essay.
5
band
Some people say that students who achieve the highest scores in theirexams should be rewarded. Others say that those who show progress should be rewarded instead. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Achieving the highest score in exams is not easy, as students need to spare their time to study and do exercises. Therefore, some people argue that these students should be rewarded. However, other people do not agree with this opinion and say that the students who perform good progress should be given rewards. Personally, I agree with the first opinion that rewards should be obtained by the one who achieve the highest score.
<4
band
Due to low revenue over the past 6 months, your company is going to change its policy, specifically the deduction of the lunch allowance, which makes you unhappy. Write an email to the Human Resources Department: Saying you do not agree with this change Explaining why the employees deserve to receive the former policy Stating your suggestions on how to help your company overcome the financial difficulties Try to write a minimum of 50 words.
Dear Human Resources Department director,

The charts below give information about attendance at entertainment venues and admission prices to those venues in 2009.

Some people think that all university students should study whatever they like. Others believe that they should only be allowed to study subjects that will be useful in the future, such as those related to science and technology. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people believe that governments should ban dangerous sports even though others claim they should have the freedom to choose a sport to their liking. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give specific reasons and examples to support your opinion

In many countries children are engaged in some kind of paid work. Some people regard this as completely wrong, while others consider it as valuable work experience, important for learning and taking responsibility. What are your opinion on this?

Some people say that students who achieve the highest scores in theirexams should be rewarded. Others say that those who show progress should be rewarded instead. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.