The charts below give information about attendance at entertainment venues and admission prices to those venues in 2009.

#information #attendance #entertainment #venues #admission #prices

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

The chart given illustrates entertainment

Use synonyms

venues

Change the noun form

venue

show examples

attendees in 2009, which

categorized

Add a missing verb

is categorized

show examples

by: sports, theme parks, and cinemas. Units measured by thousands. Generally speaking, the most popular entertainment venue was cinemas, which

Verb problem

had

show examples

more than 1,000,000 attendees.

However

Linking Words

sport

Change the noun form

sports

show examples

venues

Use synonyms

had the least

visitor

Fix the agreement mistake

visitors

show examples

among

three

Correct article usage

the three

show examples

venues

Use synonyms

at approximately 170,000 visitors.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, theme parks

are

Wrong verb form

were

show examples

visited by about 380,000 people in 2009.

Moreover

Linking Words

, the table presents the

ticket

Use synonyms

price

Fix the agreement mistake

prices

show examples

for some events that

held

Add a missing verb

are held

show examples

in entertainment

venues

Use synonyms

. As is presented, the most expensive

ticket

Use synonyms

is for events that

held

Add a missing verb

are held

show examples

in sports

venue

Fix the agreement mistake

venues

show examples

. Football Game - AFL,

for instance

Linking Words

, the

ticket

Use synonyms

price was 75

dollars

Use synonyms

for one

ticket

Use synonyms

and 298

dollars

Use synonyms

for

family

Correct article usage

a family

show examples

consist

Wrong verb form

consisting of

show examples

four members.

While

Linking Words

football

games

Fix the agreement mistake

game tickets

show examples

ticket

Use synonyms

was

Correct subject-verb agreement

were

show examples

the most expensive of them all, cinema

Use synonyms

ticket

Fix the agreement mistake

tickets

show examples

was

Correct subject-verb agreement

were

show examples

the cheapest, which

Wrong verb form

was

show examples

only 15

dollars

Use synonyms

per

ticket

Use synonyms

or you

can

Wrong verb form

could

show examples

get

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

dollars

Use synonyms

for four.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, theme

parks

Change the noun form

park

show examples

tickets were

Change preposition

show examples

the

Correct article usage

show examples

moderate level, which is 70

dollars

Use synonyms

for one and 135

dollars

Use synonyms

for

family

Correct article usage

a family

show examples

. It can be concluded cinema was the most attended venue

Linking Words

also

Correct word choice

and also

show examples

the cheapest

ticket

Use synonyms

in 2009.

Submitted by writingielts0 on Wed Dec 27 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words venues, ticket, dollars with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "give" in your introduction.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "presents" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.

▼

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
25
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

3 paragraphs

185 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

attendance
entertainment venues
admission prices
visitors
comparison
percentage
revenue
cost-effective
correlation
trends
marketing strategies
fluctuations
cultural events
accessibility
demographics
peak season
off-peak
consumer behavior
pricing strategy
profit margin

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7
band
It is thought by some that it is better to live in a city while others believe that life is beer in the countryside. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.
Some individuals argue that living in cities is beneficial , while others believe that a rural district is convenient. Although bush operations provide a healthy environment and a sense of community, I opine that educational facilities and more job opportunities for a better society.
7
band
Many countries aim to improve their living standard by economic development, but some important social values are lost as a result. Do you think the advantages of economic development outweigh the disadvantages?
One of the most important ways to raise living standards in many nations throughout the world is through economic development. It leads to the development of infrastructure, improves access to healthcare and education, and generates jobs. However, there is frequently a drawback to the quest of economic development: significant societal ideals may be sacrificed. In this paper, I will contend that governments should work to strike a balance between maintaining social values and promoting economic growth because the benefits of economic development exceed the drawbacks.
7
band
You ordered a new cheque book from your bank two weeks ago, but you have received nothing. Write a letter to the manager complaining about the bad service. Say when and how you ordered the cheque book. Ask how much longer you will have to wait and ask the manager what action he will take over this matter.
I am writing this letter to express my dissatisfaction with the poor service which I have received after placing the new chequebook order request.
6.5
band
ich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
ome people believe that only providing money to poor countries, is not going to solve their poverty and hence they are dependent on other types of needs. I completely agree with this statement and in this essay, I will explore this topic.
5.5
band
In many professional sports, there is an increase in the number of athletes who use banned substances to improve their performance. What are the causes of the phenomenon and what are some of the possible solutions?
In many worldwide sport events, a good number of sportsmen tend to use banned items in order to gain an unfair advantage over their opponents. The cause for this problem is the weak spots of certain devices that detect prohibited things, that are not fixed to this day, and the potential solution is to increase the level of a punishment for such action.

The charts below give information about attendance at entertainment venues and admission prices to those venues in 2009.

It is thought by some that it is better to live in a city while others believe that life is beer in the countryside. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Many countries aim to improve their living standard by economic development, but some important social values are lost as a result. Do you think the advantages of economic development outweigh the disadvantages?

ich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In many professional sports, there is an increase in the number of athletes who use banned substances to improve their performance. What are the causes of the phenomenon and what are some of the possible solutions?