The charts below give information about attendance at entertainment venues and admission prices to those venues in 2009.

#information #attendance #entertainment #venues #admission #prices

The chart given illustrates entertainment

venues

Change the noun form

venue

show examples

attendees in 2009, which

categorized

Add a missing verb

is categorized

show examples

by: sports, theme parks, and cinemas. Units measured by thousands. Generally speaking, the most popular entertainment venue was cinemas, which

Verb problem

had

show examples

more than 1,000,000 attendees.

However

sport

Change the noun form

sports

show examples

venues

had the least

visitor

Fix the agreement mistake

visitors

show examples

among

three

Correct article usage

the three

show examples

venues

at approximately 170,000 visitors.

Furthermore

, theme parks

are

Wrong verb form

were

show examples

visited by about 380,000 people in 2009.

Moreover

, the table presents the

ticket

price

Fix the agreement mistake

prices

show examples

for some events that

held

Add a missing verb

are held

show examples

in entertainment

venues

. As is presented, the most expensive

ticket

is for events that

held

Add a missing verb

are held

show examples

in sports

venue

Fix the agreement mistake

venues

show examples

. Football Game - AFL,

for instance

, the

ticket

price was 75

dollars

for one

ticket

and 298

dollars

for

family

Correct article usage

a family

show examples

consist

Wrong verb form

consisting of

show examples

four members.

While

football

games

Fix the agreement mistake

game tickets

show examples

ticket

was

Correct subject-verb agreement

were

show examples

the most expensive of them all, cinema

ticket

Fix the agreement mistake

tickets

show examples

was

Correct subject-verb agreement

were

show examples

the cheapest, which

Wrong verb form

was

show examples

only 15

dollars

per

ticket

or you

can

Wrong verb form

could

show examples

get

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

dollars

for four.

On the other hand

, theme

parks

Change the noun form

park

show examples

tickets were

Change preposition

show examples

the

Correct article usage

show examples

moderate level, which is 70

dollars

for one and 135

dollars

for

family

Correct article usage

a family

show examples

. It can be concluded cinema was the most attended venue

also

Correct word choice

and also

show examples

the cheapest

ticket

in 2009.

Submitted by writingielts0 on Wed Dec 27 2023

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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words venues, ticket, dollars with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "give" in your introduction.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "presents" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.

▼

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
25Grammar mistakes
 

3 paragraphs

185 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

attendance
entertainment venues
admission prices
visitors
comparison
percentage
revenue
cost-effective
correlation
trends
marketing strategies
fluctuations
cultural events
accessibility
demographics
peak season
off-peak
consumer behavior
pricing strategy
profit margin

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The charts below give information about attendance at entertainment venues and admission prices to those venues in 2009.

In many countries governments are investing in new technology to deal with the public. Why is this happening? Do you think this is an appropriate use of government money?

Many people nowadays prefer online shopping. Is it a positive or negative development?

In some countries, children are often told that, they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Today, the life expectancy of people is much higher than before. Some people think that older should continue to be involved in the workplace. To what extent do you agree or disagree?