More and more people buy a wide range of household goods like television, microwave ovens and rice cookers. Is it positive or negative?

There is an increasing number of
people
who buy various
appliances
.
This
essay will explore both potential perspectives that present the development of benefits and drawbacks, and arrive at my own conclusion. In
this
highly materialistic society, purchasing household
devices
has become a common phenomenon. It is widely agreed that
this
trend can stimulate the economy. Since substantial money flows into the consumer market, companies can make revenue from their products. In essence,
this
is a win-win situation for customers and corporations because
people
can use those machines to enhance their quality of life,
while
the companies can obtain profits from these trades.
Furthermore
, What is obvious is that by buying
appliances
customers can easily cope with household chores.
For instance
, doing housework is time-consuming, and the robotic cleaner can alleviate
this
burden for the general public.
On the other hand
, there are
also
disadvantages to
this
circumstance. It is undeniable that these kinds of electric
devices
usually sell at high prices.
Therefore
, compared to most
appliances
, daily necessities should be prioritized by
people
. If they purchase too many unnecessary
devices
without careful consideration, their own basic needs will be ignored. In the epoch-making era, the speed of technology updating could be extremely fast, and those
devices
will be outdated in a glimpse.
However
,
people
opt to make another order to buy a new one in order to catch to trend. In
this
way, plenty of money will be wasted unconsciously. In conclusion, it is evident that frequently purchasing diverse
appliances
can cause both positive and negative effects. From my perspective, it is essential for
people
to strike a delicate balance between their needs and desires.
Submitted by seanlin12345 on

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coherence cohesion
You have demonstrated a clear structure in your essay, with a distinct introduction, development of ideas, and conclusion. However, to improve, ensure that each paragraph contains one clear main idea and fully elaborate on it before moving to the next. Additional linking devices could enhance the cohesion further.
task achievement
While you have provided clear ideas and a relevant example, considering expanding on these examples with more detail can strengthen your essay. Additionally, strive to address all parts of the prompt equally to fully meet the task response criteria. Avoid general statements without specific support or illustration.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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