More and more people buy a wide range of household goods like television, microwave ovens and rice cookers. Is it positive or negative?

#people #range #household #goods #television #microwave #ovens #rice #cookers

There is an increasing number of

people

who buy various

appliances

This

essay will explore both potential perspectives that present the development of benefits and drawbacks, and arrive at my own conclusion. In

this

highly materialistic society, purchasing household

devices

has become a common phenomenon. It is widely agreed that

this

trend can stimulate the economy. Since substantial money flows into the consumer market, companies can make revenue from their products. In essence,

this

is a win-win situation for customers and corporations because

people

can use those machines to enhance their quality of life,

while

the companies can obtain profits from these trades.

Furthermore

, What is obvious is that by buying

appliances

customers can easily cope with household chores.

For instance

, doing housework is time-consuming, and the robotic cleaner can alleviate

this

burden for the general public.

On the other hand

, there are

also

disadvantages to

this

circumstance. It is undeniable that these kinds of electric

devices

usually sell at high prices.

Therefore

, compared to most

appliances

, daily necessities should be prioritized by

people

. If they purchase too many unnecessary

devices

without careful consideration, their own basic needs will be ignored. In the epoch-making era, the speed of technology updating could be extremely fast, and those

devices

will be outdated in a glimpse.

However

people

opt to make another order to buy a new one in order to catch to trend. In

this

way, plenty of money will be wasted unconsciously. In conclusion, it is evident that frequently purchasing diverse

appliances

can cause both positive and negative effects. From my perspective, it is essential for

people

to strike a delicate balance between their needs and desires.

Submitted by seanlin12345 on Mon Dec 18 2023

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coherence cohesion

You have demonstrated a clear structure in your essay, with a distinct introduction, development of ideas, and conclusion. However, to improve, ensure that each paragraph contains one clear main idea and fully elaborate on it before moving to the next. Additional linking devices could enhance the cohesion further.

task achievement

While you have provided clear ideas and a relevant example, considering expanding on these examples with more detail can strengthen your essay. Additionally, strive to address all parts of the prompt equally to fully meet the task response criteria. Avoid general statements without specific support or illustration.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

276 words

7.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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More and more people buy a wide range of household goods like television, microwave ovens and rice cookers. Is it positive or negative?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Children should begin learning a foreign language as soon as they start school. Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?

Art is considered an important part of a society as well as an expression of its culture. Do you think it is important for children to be taught art? Do you think children should be encouraged to focus on art rather than other subjects?

Some young people are leaving the countryside to live in cities and towns, leaving only old people in the countryside. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Children should begin learning a foreign language as soon as they start school. 　　Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?