In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

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Children
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are taught to make as many attempts as possible to achieve what they target in certain cultural backgrounds. One of many advantages
this
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can bring is the encouragement to find all the
way
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to make the dream come true
instead
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of later regrets.
In contrast
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, mental breakdown from
self doubt
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self-doubt
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is brought up as potential cons following
children
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's constant attempts without progress. As for the advantages brought out of the
children
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doing hard
work
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to get closer to their goals, they are all well encouraged to put effort into every single
elements
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element
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of their
work
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, which is great and definitely
contributive
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contributes
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to their personal growth no matter if their goals are reached in the end.
Also
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, the term 'practice makes perfect' rooted in these cultures serves
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apply
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with
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apply
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the same purpose of guiding people to keep up the hard
work
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and not to give up.
For example
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, Harvard
students
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are known to be smarter than a majority of
students
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, yet the latest research done in 2010 proved that
besides
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the intelligence, these
students
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, in order to stand out as the top, tended to study harder than anyone at their age by sacrificing their holidays, breaks, staying disconnected to the world of their fellows, saying no to entertainment or having
less
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fewer
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sleep hours and so on.
However
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, no amount of attempts is able to guarantee
100
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a 100
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% chance of success to anyone. Kids are taught
this
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way
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but not to understand themselves as well,
such
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as strengths and weaknesses,
may
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and may
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get frustrated and strongly upset if they cannot achieve what they expect. From there, depression might sneak into their lives and cause even larger damages than the failure.
For instance
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, 35% of Korean high school
students
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have been reported to risk their lives studying to make their own
way
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to a university but could not achieve that in the end,
result
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resulting
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in suicide and mental illness. In summary, the
way
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children
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are taught to
work
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hard towards their goals brings quite many advantages including their dream outcomes to them, yet if the scale of the expectation and how they understand themselves is not considered, they
then
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are more likely to fall victim
for
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to
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mental breakdown.
Submitted by camcat.viking on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that logical progression and coherence are maintained throughout the essay by making effective use of cohesive devices. Paragraphing could be enhanced with clear topic sentences and subsequent development of ideas.
task achievement
Broaden your scope by discussing both advantages and disadvantages in a balanced manner. Your essay leans towards the positives, potentially resulting in a somewhat biased analysis.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • achieve
  • try hard
  • positive mindset
  • self-belief
  • motivates
  • ambitious goals
  • resilience
  • determination
  • confidence
  • self-esteem
  • growth mindset
  • unrealistic expectations
  • disappointment
  • failure
  • effort
  • hard work
  • seek support
  • individual differences
  • abilities
  • capabilities
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