Some people today feel that physical money will no longer be used in the future. Others feel it will still have some uses. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion!
Nowadays,
transformation
of financial transactions Add an article
the transformation
a transformation
are
Change the verb form
is
fastly
. Replace the adverb
fast
However
, it will be
Unnecessary verb
apply
happend
in the future, likely without cash;Correct your spelling
happened
happen
whereas
other individuals argue that it will use
for supporting Wrong verb form
be used
transaction
. Fix the agreement mistake
transactions
Overall
, this
essay will provide my opinion about in the future, people
will use
digitalization platfrom
for payment for making fastly and easily.
On the one hand, Correct your spelling
platforms
Correct article usage
the developing
developing
of Replace the word
development
tecnology
Correct your spelling
technology
making
Wrong verb form
makes
people
needs
more Change the verb form
need
supporting
, Replace the word
support
spesially
in transaction financial. Correct your spelling
especially
specially
Furthermore
, the developer, the bankers and the goverment
collaborate to Correct your spelling
government
making
Wrong verb form
make
Correct article usage
a digizatization
digizatization
Correct your spelling
digitization
platfrom
. Correct your spelling
platform
Moreover
, it encourage
society to Change the verb form
encourages
use
application
Correct article usage
the application
digizatal
for transfer, payment and Change the capitalization
Digizatal
buy
some things. Wrong verb form
buying
For example
, the kompas news
found that in Correct your spelling
Kompas News
develop
Wrong verb form
developed
country
, likely Fix the agreement mistake
countries
indonesia
, Change the capitalization
Indonesia
society
who used Mandiri Correct article usage
the society
Bank
account
in Correct subject-verb agreement
accounts
biggest
city rose significantly to using Add an article
the biggest
mandiri
smart (the Mandiri Change the capitalization
Mandiri
Bank
financial platform digital) from 45% to 75% between 2021 to 2023. Thus
, the change of tecnology
will Correct your spelling
technology
conduct
using Wrong verb form
be conducted
application
Fix the agreement mistake
applications
then
cash transaction
.
On the Fix the agreement mistake
transactions
another
hand, Correct quantifier usage
other
people
who living
in remote areas limited to access Change the form of the verb
live
internet
and transportation. Correct article usage
the internet
Moreover
, it encourage
Change the verb form
encourages
people
still
have physical money Fix the infinitive
to still
for
support their daily Change preposition
to
life
. In fact, the level of Fix the agreement mistake
lives
eduation
Correct your spelling
education
people
in remore
areas Correct your spelling
remote
are
lowest Correct subject-verb agreement
is
then
Correct your spelling
than
people
living in the bigest
cities. Change the word
biggest
For Instance
, the one of several rurals
Correct your spelling
rural
murals
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
in
Change preposition
on
papua
island, namely Bintuni village, the topography Change the capitalization
Papua
it
is Correct pronoun usage
apply
river
Add an article
a river
the river
the
mainly access transportation by boat and public Correct determiner usage
that
manufacture
likely Replace the word
manufacturing
bank
in the main Fix the agreement mistake
banks
cityarea
Correct your spelling
city
so
Change preposition
apply
making
hardly to open Verb problem
is
account
Fix the agreement mistake
accounts
bank
and limited access internet.
In conclusion,there are several Correct article usage
apply
the
Correct article usage
apply
prons
and Correct your spelling
pros
Correct article usage
apply
the
cons of physical money Correct article usage
apply
will
Verb problem
apply
use
in the future.Submitted by musa.nuwa on
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Introduction and Conclusion
The essay lacks clear introduction and conclusion paragraphs which should succinctly present the main ideas and summarise the argument. Introductions should set the stage for the discussion, and conclusions should clearly state the writer's position.
Task Achievement
The response only partially addresses the task and does not fully develop the positions stated. The writer must expand on the ideas presented and ensure they are fully explored and linked to the question.
Logical Structure
The essay shows a weak structure and poor logical progression of ideas. Use clear topic sentences for each paragraph and ensure that each main point is logically supported and expanded upon. Avoid gaps in logic or abrupt shifts in ideas.
Supported Main Points
The main points are somewhat supported, but the supporting details and examples could be more developed and more explicitly connected to the main idea. It is also important to equally address both views of the argument, followed by a personal opinion.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
There are several grammatical errors affecting the readability of the essay. Be sure to proofread and correct verb tenses, subject-verb agreement, and prepositions. Also, keep an eye on sentence structure to avoid run-on sentences or fragments.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.
‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.
Examples:
I really want to study but I’m too tired.
I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.
If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.