Today in many countries in order to find work people have to move away from their friends and family. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?
In recent years, many citizens have migrated from their hometowns to the capital city, expecting to find better professional opportunities.
This
has sparked an ongoing debate about whether this
situation's merit outweighs the drawbacks. From my perspective, whether relocation provides people with more advantages or disadvantages depends on the individual’s circumstances.
On the one hand, living in a metropolitan area offers both personal and professional opportunities. Young workers who aspire to succeed in their fields have to move to the capital city where better companies and offices are based. Individuals appointed for job positions in a suitable workplace are allowed to have networks with experts in their areas, climb the career ladder and earn a significant income to support their families. For instance
, only limited hospitals have the capability to employ some specialist doctors such
as cardiothoracic surgeons or neurosurgeons and all of these hospitals only are located in major cities.
On the other hand
, some people indicate that living in rural areas has better slow-paced lifestyles with a stronger emotional connection to your family. Additionally
, this
connection with loved ones creates immense happiness that cannot be replaced by financial success. For example
, while
some successful business owners tend to lack emotional support resulting in mental issues such
as depression or anxiety, others who choose to live in the countryside might not gain much accomplishment but have better mental well-being.
In conclusion, the decision of whether to live in an urban or rural area relies on an individual’s priorities. Both places have their benefits and drawbacks which cannot be compared with each other. Whereas
the city lifestyle contributes to a successful career, rural living provides a family bond. Thus
, the choice ultimately depends on personal values.Submitted by chawanat.pla on
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task achievement
To elevate task achievement, define your perspective about whether the advantages truly outweigh the disadvantages more explicitly and stick with it throughout the essay.
coherence cohesion
Enhance coherence by linking paragraphs more fluently and maintaining consistent logical progression.
task achievement
Although examples are relevant and specific, expanding on the consequences of living in metropolitan versus rural areas can strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Include more cohesive devices between sentences and paragraphs, like "however," "for instance," and "on the contrary," to subtly guide readers through your line of thought.
task achievement
The essay provides a balanced view, considering both benefits and drawbacks of relocating for work, showing good comprehensive ideas.
coherence cohesion
The introduction effectively sets the stage for discussion, presenting the central issue clearly.
coherence cohesion
Conclusion summarizes the main points well and states the writer's stance, contributing to a coherent finish.
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