Some people think that it is important to use leisure time for activities that improve the mind, such as reading and doing word puzzles. Other people feel that it is important to rest the mind during leisure time. L Discuss two views and give your opinion.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Which type of activity should be done by
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

during
spare
Correct pronoun usage
their spare

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

show examples
time
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

has become a controversial topic
recent
Change preposition
in recent

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

time
Fix the agreement mistake
times

It seems that time may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

show examples
. Since
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

struggling
Wrong verb form
struggle

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb struggling. Consider changing it.

show examples
to find enough
time
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

in
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
for
resting
Replace the word
rest

The word resting doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

show examples
,
due to
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

the fast-paced and complex business life a question comes to
the
Change the word
their

The word the may be incorrect in this context. Consider changing it.

show examples
minds
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

: whether individuals should spend their leisure
time
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

on creative
activities
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

like reading or resting in
order
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

to
resfresh
Correct your spelling
refresh

If you don’t want resfresh to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

their
mind
Fix the agreement mistake
minds

It seems that mind may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

show examples
. It can easily stated
Linking Words
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

while
Correct word choice
that

It seems that conjunction use may be incorrect here.

show examples
resting
give
Correct subject-verb agreement
gives

It seems that the verb give does not agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

show examples
a chance to feel
relaxer
Replace the word
relaxed

The word relaxer doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

show examples
,
it
Add a verb
it is
it was

Your sentence appears to be missing a verb.

show examples
also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

equally important
that
Change preposition
to

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
feeding
Replace the word
feed

The word feeding doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

show examples
minds
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

with productive
activities
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

like reading and doing
puzzless
Correct your spelling
puzzles

If you don’t want puzzless to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

for refreshing. On
Use synonyms
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

one
Correct article usage
the one

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

show examples
hand, today’s world is really complex and requires
high
Add an article
a high

The noun phrase high level seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

show examples
level of
adaptaion
Correct your spelling
adaptation

If you don’t want adaptaion to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills

It seems that skill may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

show examples
to changing business
demand
Fix the agreement mistake
demands

It seems that demand may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

show examples
. Inevitably,
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

pattern requires
in
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
more norological activity
hence
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, workers need to
more
Add a missing verb
do more

It seems that you are missing a verb. Consider adding it.

show examples
resting
Verb problem
apply

There may be a verb use issue here.

show examples
compared to the past times. Imagine two employees, who
work
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

in
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
today and 10 years ago.
It is clear that
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

the second
one
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

has
more
Correct article usage
a more

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

show examples
static
work
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

environment and his job requirements do not change instantly
therefore
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, he can
work
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

for a long
time
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

with
same
Change the article
the same

It appears that the phrase same amount does not contain the correct article usage. Consider making a change.

show examples
amount of information. Turning to the former
one
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

, who works in
instantly
Correct article usage
an instantly

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

show examples
changing atmosphere owing to the advanced
techology
Correct your spelling
technology

If you don’t want techology to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

,
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

character has to improve his personal data related to
work
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

in
order
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

to adapt job market and save his position in business. Unfortunately,
Linking Words
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

this
Change the determiner
these

It appears that the singular demonstrative this is modifying the plural noun employes. Consider using a plural demonstrative or a singular noun instead.

show examples
employes
Correct your spelling
employees

The word employes doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

show examples
tend to spend
his
Correct pronoun usage
their

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

show examples
energy
while
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

working and in
order
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

to prevent
from
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
burnout
he
Correct pronoun usage
they

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

show examples
need to rest
his
Correct pronoun usage
their

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

show examples
leisure
time
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.
To sum up
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
one
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

should keep in mind that, as
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

work
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

harder
in
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
these days they need to rest in their free
time
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

to
maintainn
Correct your spelling
maintain

If you don’t want maintainn to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

their mental well-being.
On the other hand
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
although
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

resting may provide more clear
minds
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

, the value of productive
activities
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

should not be overlooked by individuals. Let’s think
two
Change preposition
of two

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

, the first
one
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

generally
sleep
Correct subject-verb agreement
sleeps

It seems that the verb sleep does not agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

show examples
in his spare
time
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

,
Linking Words
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

however
Add a comma
however,

It appears that you are missing a comma after the introductory phrase however. Consider adding a comma.

show examples
the second
one
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

prefer
Change the verb form
prefers

The plural verb prefer does not appear to agree with the singular subject the second one. Consider changing the verb form for subject-verb agreement.

show examples
to engage in some cultural
activites
Correct your spelling
activities

If you don’t want activites to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

,
for
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

instance
Add the comma(s)
instance,

It appears that you are missing a comma or two with the interrupter for instance. Consider adding the comma(s).

show examples
reading. By means of reading the second
employees
Fix the agreement mistake
employee

It seems that employees may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

show examples
is likely to expand his horizons and it may increase his satisfaction
of
Change preposition
with

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
life.
Additionally
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, he may learn some new information related to his job and put himself
one
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

step ahead of others
by
Change preposition
with

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
the help of new knowledge and perspectives.
Furthermore
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, via another creativity booster
activty
Correct your spelling
activity

If you don’t want activty to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

, doing
Add an article
a puzzle
the puzzle
show examples
puzzle
Fix the agreement mistake
puzzles

It seems that puzzle may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

show examples
,
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

may
rise
Correct your spelling
raise

The word rise doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

show examples
their critical thinking skills
indrectly
Correct your spelling
indirectly

If you don’t want indrectly to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

. To wrap up, being
engage
Wrong verb form
engaged

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb engage. Consider changing it.

show examples
in
benefitial
Correct your spelling
beneficial

If you don’t want benefitial to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

activities
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

such
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

as reading and doing
puzzle
Fix the agreement mistake
puzzles

It seems that puzzle may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

show examples
may have
positive
Add an article
a positive

The noun phrase positive impact seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

show examples
impact on
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

both
Change preposition
in both

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
direct and indirect
way
Fix the agreement mistake
ways

It seems that way may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

show examples
.
Finally
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, I personally believe that the truth lies in between.
While
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

the importance of resting should not be underestimated, the value of productivity
activites
Correct your spelling
activities

If you don’t want activites to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

is
Unnecessary verb
apply

The verb is appears to be unnecessary here.

show examples
should not be overlooked, either. Every individual should be aware of their mental and
pyhsical
Correct your spelling
physical

If you don’t want pyhsical to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

status and plan
according to
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

their needs at that
time
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

. Resting would be better after a long day in
order
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

to
rejuvenation
Replace the word
rejuvenate

The word rejuvenation doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

show examples
of
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
minds
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

;
however
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, after an
adequet
Correct your spelling
adequate

If you don’t want adequet to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

resting session, being
engage
Wrong verb form
engaged

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb engage. Consider changing it.

show examples
in some mind-breeding
activities
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

would be
preffered
Correct your spelling
preferred

If you don’t want preffered to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

with the aim of developing creativity, which may affect the efficiency
in
Change preposition
of

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
career
Correct pronoun usage
your career

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

show examples
.
To conclude
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, when all the things are taken into account, both perspectives have valid points.
While
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

resting may provide more
clear
Correct word choice
clearer

There may be an adjective issue here.

show examples
mind in
short
Add an article
a short

The noun phrase short time seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

show examples
time
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

by sleeping
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

for
Add the comma(s)
, for

It appears that you are missing a comma or two with the interrupter for instance. Consider adding the comma(s).

show examples
instance, spending
time
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

with
reaidng
Correct your spelling
reading

If you don’t want reaidng to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

or doing
puzzle
Fix the agreement mistake
puzzles

It seems that puzzle may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

show examples
may enhance the knowledge of
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

. So
that
Correct determiner usage
apply

It seems that determiner use may be incorrect here.

show examples
,
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

should
be benefit
Change the verb form
benefit

It appears that the form of the verb benefit does not work with be in this sentence.

show examples
from either resting or mind-feeding
activities
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

in
order
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

to put themselves
one
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

step ahead of others.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Your essay demonstrates some level of logical structure, but you can improve this aspect by clearly organizing paragraphs and ensuring each one contains a single, coherent idea with appropriate supporting sentences. Transition words to link ideas smoothly may also improve the overall structure.
coherence cohesion
You have included both an introduction and a conclusion, which is good. However, you can enhance clarity by clearly stating the essay prompt within the introduction and summarizing your main points more effectively in the conclusion. Use the conclusion to also re-emphasize your own opinion without introducing new information.
coherence cohesion
You have made an attempt to support your main points, but the support needs to be developed further. Provide specific examples and reasons for each viewpoint, ensuring that your essay clearly addresses the reasons why people might prefer one type of leisure activity over another. Avoid vague statements and seek to deepen the analysis of your supporting points.
task achievement
Your essay generally addresses the task, but you need to develop your response more fully to cover all parts of the task consistently. Make sure each viewpoint in the discussion is given balanced attention and that your own opinion emerges clearly after considering both sides.
task achievement
The ideas in your essay are somewhat clear, but there is room for improvement in how you express them. Aim for comprehensiveness by fully exploring the implications and outcomes of each viewpoint, and ensure that you articulate these ideas with sufficient clarity and detail for the reader to follow without difficulty.
task achievement
You have included some relevant examples, but you should expand on these to better support your arguments. Choose specific, detailed examples that directly relate to the points you are making. Specificity is key to illustrating your point of view and adding weight to your arguments. Avoid hypothetical scenarios and aim for real-world relevance.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: